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Ask the Divorced Guy!
by Dean Hughson
Title: Who is Looking out for Second Wives?
Question:
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Dean, I have fallen in love with a divorced man who is still involved in a custody battle to see his kids. From what I can see this is a very difficult thing he has but worry that it will bleed over into our relationship? Do you have any resources that will help me adjust?
Answer:
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Indeed being the second wife and stepmother can be a frustrating role sometimes. I urge you to take a look at The Second Wive's Club (http://www.sweethomes.com/SecondWivesClub/index.html). Another good resource is the usenet group alt.support.divorce which I find usually has some people there who can be supportive of you. My experience is that you must focus that your marriage is the most important thing the two of you can work on and try and isolate the external problems you will face with the court process,angry phone calls, and fighting that you will see in your husbands' life. Eventually it will settle down. You are a brave person to enter the role of second wife and stepmother but it does have its rewards.
Dean Hughson, called the Dear Abby of Divorced Dads by the KC Star, is the founder of the DIVORCE HOMEPAGE. He has talked to thousands of people contemplating divorce, going through divorce, or the chaos afterwards and gives referrals and advice. He resides in Nevada, the state with the highest divorce rate in the US.
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