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Ask the Divorced Guy!
by Dean Hughson
Title: Betrayal
Question:
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Recently I received an anonymous phone call that said "'beware
your wife is running around on you". I frankly didn't know what to do but
I waited and a few days later she announced she was going out for dinner
with a mutual friend of ours and wouldn't be back until late. I waited a
couple of minutes and followed her. She went to a Hotel in our
neighborhood and entered a room. I waited until 1 a.m. and she still
hadn't come out. I didn't say anything to her about it but that night when
she returned at 2 a.m. she told me how much fun she had with our friend and
then said she was going to sleep in another bedroom so she could sleep in.
I went out to her car and punched the re-call button on her car phone and
saw a number I didn't know. I called it and a male voice answered. The
caller-id showed the name of the individual and I looked it up in the phone
book. Later I went to the hotel and talked with the desk person who
remembered my wife but didn't know who the gentleman was.
I later confronted my wife. She denied it and said call our mutual friend. I had already called our mutual friend who told me she didn't want to get involved so I knew. My wife filed for divorce and her family acts like I'm the bad person. She tried filing a paper with the court that I was physically abusing her but since I lack 75% of the strength in my arms due to a physical condition the court didn't buy it.
How do I speed up my divorce? The pain of this all is killing me.
Answer:
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First off, my condolences..the loss of a love is something that hurts and
especially when the one you loved lied and broke your heart. Your
detective work in finding out what was going on must have been painful but
also helped you understand why your marriage was going bad. I have to tell
you that process could be dangerous if the other person was violent or your
wife had detected you at the time and got violent.
What I would do is work on recovery. find a support group and do what you can to start feeling better about yourself.
In terms of how to speed up your divorce, understand that divorces are fairly stacked up in most states and thus you have to wait your turn. Be sure you have discussed your concerns about the divorce time with your attorney. They are the best judge of what will happen and when. If you aren't getting the responses from your attorney you need ask him directly why? Don't be meek or mild--this is your life and your divorce.
May your recovery be a quick and thorough one.
Let me know if I can help.
Dean Hughson, called the Dear Abby of Divorced Dads by the KC Star, is the founder of the DIVORCE HOMEPAGE. He has talked to thousands of people contemplating divorce, going through divorce, or the chaos afterwards and gives referrals and advice. He resides in Nevada, the state with the highest divorce rate in the US.
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