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Ask the Divorced Guy!
by Dean Hughson
Title: How do I prepare for a child custody evaluation?
Question:
-
I am a newly divorcing father of 3 children. I work as a fireman
the night shift. My ex has filed for sole custody and we are facing an
evaluation. Can you give me some advice on what to expect?
Answer:
-
Preparing for a custody evaluation is like preparing for a marathon. You must
be sure you are in shape or you face losing from the beginning. Men have
had in
the past gender bias against them as custodial parents but it is improving as
the courts recognize that women also work outside of the home and that men
equally can be good parents.. Unless there is alcoholism or drug abuse
that is
not responding to treatment or mental illness that renders a parent to be
dangerous to children, I support joint custody which allows both parents to
have a say in the raising of their children. Children need both parents.
First off, do you know what the discipline is for the evaluator?
1. If it is a psychologist you need to look at the American Psychological Association Site at http://www.apa.org/ethics/homepage.html and become aware of their code of ethics and guidelines for child custody evaluation or contact them at:
APA Ethics Office
750 First St., N.E.
Washington, DC 20002
(202) 336-5930
2. If it is a social worker you need to look at the National Association For Social Workers Site at http://www.naswdc.org/CODE.HTM and read their code of ethics. If you contact them they also have some specific information on child custody evaluations. They can be contacted at:
National Association of Social Workers (NASW) ,
750 First Street, NE, Suite 700,
Washington DC 20002-4241.
Telephone 202/408-8600
FAX 202/336-8311
TTD 202/408-8396.
3. If it is a psychiatrist you need to look at the American Psychiatric Association Site at http://www.psych.org/apa_membe rs/ethics.html and read their code of ethics. If you also contact them they have some specific information on child custody evaluations. They can be contacted at:
American Psychiatric Association
1400 K Street, NW
Washington, DC 20005
Telephone 202/682-6000.
Also ask your attorney if there are written rules on what a therapist does in an evaluation. Basically you need to be prepared to discuss your parenting style, undergo psychological testing, and the therapist will probably watch you interact with your children. After they do this with both parents they will write up a document to the court stating what they saw and their recommendations. You need to be honest and yet careful as to what you say during the evaluation. It is not a place to discuss your dislike of your ex-spouse and you are better off to mention that you want both parents involved with the children for the children's well-being. It is acceptable to ask the evaluator their opinion on custody for men or women and if they support joint custody.
The problem that you face as a full time employed person is to convince the evaluator and the court that you can handle the children full time. I would contemplate that they will ask you what happens in an emergency with your kids, etc. Your attorney can help prepare you or some people actually hire an evaluator to 'practice' it with them before they go to their evaluation.
A group that could be helpful to you in learning your rights and responsibilities is the National Congress For Fathers and Children, telephone 800-733-dads or their web site is at http://com.primenet.com/ncfc/index.html
Your attorney is the best resource you have for your local area. He or she should know who the best evaluators are and if individual evaluators have biases which may hurt you in the courtroom. Question your attorney on the best way to proceed.
Dean Hughson, called the Dear Abby of Divorced Dads by the KC Star, is the founder of the DIVORCE HOMEPAGE. He has talked to thousands of people contemplating divorce, going through divorce, or the chaos afterwards and gives referrals and advice. He resides in Nevada, the state with the highest divorce rate in the US.
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