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Ask the Divorced Guy!
by Dean Hughson
Title: I'm in Europe and my wife tells me I can't come home!
Question:
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What is your opinion as to my course of action in the following:
While I am in Europe on business I invited my wife's parents to move
into our home for a few weeks to keep her company. Yesterday my wife
called me to say she was seeking a no-fault divorce. Bad enough, but
then she says that I am prohibited by law from going home until the
divorce is resolved. I am therefore now in Europe and have no home to
go to in the US !
Answer:
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First off, think through this logically. You don't just lose your house
because someone files divorce against you. Unless there is a hearing or
property settlement this can't happen. Run, don't walk to an attorney and find out what
the reality is for your area. Unless she has got an order claiming
domestic violence or something, there is no way that one can be kept from
their house. Many times in divorces spouses will say something like this
and people are tortured by it but it is just that--divorce talk. This is
not to say you may not lose the house in the divorce but you will be
compensated in some way for the amount of money in the final settlement.
It is tough to get bad news on the road. You need to sleep, rest, exercise as well as you can. Don't call your wife and harass her. Wait until you are home to talk to her about this. Give her some space. Perhaps she will calm down and the two of you can look at some alternatives to divorce or at least work on this in a non-damaging way. People traveling internationally have a lot of stress and have to be careful to take care of themselves and their marriages.
Dean Hughson, called the Dear Abby of Divorced Dads by the KC Star, is the founder of the DIVORCE HOMEPAGE. He has talked to thousands of people contemplating divorce, going through divorce, or the chaos afterwards and gives referrals and advice. He resides in Nevada, the state with the highest divorce rate in the US.
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