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Ask the Divorced Guy!
by Dean Hughson


Title: Marrying a Divorced Man

Question:

Hi, I'm trying to find a book about dating a divorced person.  I have never been married and am currently in a relationship with a divorced man and he is the first divorced person I've ever dated. He and his ex-wife do not have children together, but they are still in contact as she is having some serious financial problems as well as emotional difficulties and he is helping her.  It is an awkward situation for me and I find myself needing some advice as to how to deal with this.  I've done several searches but was not able to find any books about dating a divorced person.  Any ideas? 

Answer:


I get asked for that book a lot but haven't found one.

A book that will help you understand what divorced people act like and how to try and stop divorces or at least make them not as damaging is DIVORCE BUSTING by weiner-davis----I urge you to read this..very helpful book

Also there is an organization in California for 2nd wives:
2nd Wives organize:
Bossan, Lou Ann
2547 Nogeiga St., #333
San Francisco, Ca 94122
Email: louann@crl.com


I suggest you write Lou Ann and see if she has some recommendations for you. The organization has some focus for 2nd wives of men with children but may be helpful.

Being that I remarried a woman that was not married before, I can tell you that 2nd wives indeed have some special items to work with. Your husband, like I have done, will go through a lot of pain at various times even after he is over the relationship loss. A restaurant, a town, a song, a movie, will trigger memories for him. You wouldn't want him to be so cold that he could just do away with his earlier life but indeed life is cluttered sometimes.

Let me know how it goes. Good luck in your new marriage.


Dean Hughson, called the Dear Abby of Divorced Dads by the KC Star, is the founder of the DIVORCE HOMEPAGE. He has talked to thousands of people contemplating divorce, going through divorce, or the chaos afterwards and gives referrals and advice. He resides in Nevada, the state with the highest divorce rate in the US.


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