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Ask the Divorced Guy!
by Dean Hughson
Title: Saddest Story of Divorce
Question:
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You must hear a lot of sad stories on divorce. Can you share
some of the worst stories you have heard?
Answer:
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All stories are sad. When you lose access to your family or your spouse, it
hurts. Here are a couple of stories from the thousands I have heard.
A friend of mine, a dentist, built a unique type of dental practice up...worth $8 million. One day his wife announced that she was not finding their sex life particularly fulfilling and she had decided that they should start 'swinging' with other couples. The friend told her that his morality wouldn't allow that type of behavior. The wife said "Well, tell you what I am going to take a boyfriend and you will pay for the apartment and expenses..If you don't I will divorce you, take the kids, and your money."' He said no and she did exactly what she said she would do. The courts ordered him to split the assets 75%/25% and then ordered him to pay $10,000/month in alimony and $5,000 a month in child support, all other legal bills, and provide medical insurance for her and the kids plus give them the family home. The stress of losing his kids and wife were great on him and the business community was changing and he didn't catch it. Soon his business went down the tubes. However, the courts said that he could afford to pay the money ordered, even though he was in bankruptcy and put him in jail when he couldn't. When he went to jail, his ex's boyfriend knew someone and they had him marked as a child abuser (it is signified by the color of the documents) even though he was not and thus he found himself facing people in jail who wanted to kill him, thinking he was a child abuser when actually he was there for not paying alimony.
Or I could tell you about a guy in Australia who married a woman from Germany. They had 1 child. She decided she didn't want to be married anymore and flew back to Germany and filed for divorce. She was awarded custody and he was granted normal visitation. Every other month he flies from Sydney Australia to Frankfurt Germany. He is allowed 4 hours visitation with his 6 year old son. She will not bend and give him more. He does it because it is his only choice.
There are many sad stories, men and women, in the world. There are many victims. All are sad and many are hopeless cases but folks have to pick themselves up and get moving with their lives. You may be handicapped but at least you are alive.
Dean Hughson, called the Dear Abby of Divorced Dads by the KC Star, is the founder of the DIVORCE HOMEPAGE. He has talked to thousands of people contemplating divorce, going through divorce, or the chaos afterwards and gives referrals and advice. He resides in Nevada, the state with the highest divorce rate in the US.
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