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Ask the Divorced Woman!
by Maria Costa
Title: Concerned Mother Moving Across Country
Question:
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I'm in a tough situation. I'd really appreciate your input. My husband
and I are considering a move to Tampa Florida. were now living in CA. We've
been married for 1 year now, and have a 9 month old baby boy. My problem
is that I have 3 children prior to this marriage. All of which are by
different fathers. Jeff 13, I had at a very early age, never married his
father. Kayla 10, married her father at 18, we had a 8 1/2 year marriage
during which we were separated and I had Tracy 5. Now, if we move I have
to break the news to their fathers. I hope to legally settle their
visitations before I go. Jeff says he'll come for the summer vacation,
Kayla wants it split where she would spend a year with her dad then a
year with me. And Tracy she's so young, she'd come with me, but if she
came out to visit her dad it would be more difficult cause he lives with
his mother and stepfather, and the stepfather is a convicted child
molester. I made sure that the court papers (stipulation) stated that he
could not be around Tracy at all, during the time her dad has her for
visits, so he takes her to his brothers every other weekend. I know I
have to go and get all papers signed by both parties and the judge
before leaving. I cant afford expensive lawyers to represent me. I know
I can do it on my own. I just thought you could e-mail me with advice. I
kept this short, and didn't go into great detail.
Answer:
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You are in a tough situation. Since you seem to know exactly what it is
you want - then you should type it up yourself. Once you have the
agreements typed then you and the other fathers need to meet, one at a
time. If they concur and sign then you need to file your papers in the
local district court. If they don't agree see if you can live with their
changes and again file the papers.
If they don't agree at all, then you should get a lawyer. I too would be very concerned with Tracy. She is the most vulnerable, especially because of the stepfather.
Pick up my book "When the Vows Break: Living Through Separation & Divorce" it will help you with the above questions plus how to join support groups which you need to do! If you can't find it in your local bookstore call my toll free number 888-267-3929 PIN #7176.
Maria Costa (Author & Seminar Speaker) A well known certified speaker and seminar leader, continues to inspire, motivate and challenge people to push their envelopes farther, both before and after experiencing divorce. A graduate of National-Louis University, with a Masters in Management, Ms. Costa is very active in her community. She is President of the Board of Directors of the Women's Resource Center, Fredericksburg, VA, President of Hispanic Internal Revenue Employees (HIRE), IRS, Washington Chapter and board member of Professional Women's Network. Be sure to visit Maria Costa's web site
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