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Ask the Divorced Woman!
by Maria Costa
Title: How Do I Get Over the Guilt?
Question:
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Although my husband was never home and I had some evidence he had
cheated on me (like he had when we were engaged), I now feel guilty for
finally leaving him and my home. I often dream that I'm back in my
beautiful house instead of the small apartment I'm currently living
in.
We were only married 3-1/2 years and have no children but somehow I feel like I failed the marriage. I'm in therapy and it's working for the most part but sometimes I get this overwhelming feeling to just crawl under a rock and die (like right now which explains why I'm writing this).
Can you offer any advice?
Answer:
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You are going through the grief process and it is perfectly normal. What
I recommend is that you read about the different stages of the process
like the: denial & isolation, anger, bargaining, depression &
acceptance.
Each one of us deals with each step of the way in different ways and we all take different times to go from step to step and sometimes back to the previous step.
Time is your best medicine and counseling also helps. Try to read books that deal with the many issues we face when we all go through a divorce. My book deals with the above process in a little more detail if you'd like to read about the survival of divorce.
Sounds like you made the correct decision in divorcing and you shouldn't burden yourself with "his" guilt.
Pick up my book "When the Vows Break: Living Through Separation & Divorce" it will help you with the above questions plus how to join support groups which you need to do! If you can't find it in your local bookstore call my toll free number 888-267-3929 PIN #7176.
Maria Costa (Author & Seminar Speaker) A well known certified speaker and seminar leader, continues to inspire, motivate and challenge people to push their envelopes farther, both before and after experiencing divorce. A graduate of National-Louis University, with a Masters in Management, Ms. Costa is very active in her community. She is President of the Board of Directors of the Women's Resource Center, Fredericksburg, VA, President of Hispanic Internal Revenue Employees (HIRE), IRS, Washington Chapter and board member of Professional Women's Network. Be sure to visit Maria Costa's web site
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