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Ask the Divorced Woman!
by Maria Costa
Title: Divorce and Custody - I Can't Understand
My ex and I have been divorced since 1996. In 1997 our child went on
vacation and I relocated to another state. When the child returned his
father would not send him to me in the other state (he would not put him on
the plane-now the child just flew internationally for his vacation (alone!))
and he filed for temporary custody. Turns out he claimed I had abandoned my
son and he did not know where to find me. So I did not received any notices
about hearings until after the order was signed. I am trying to fight this,
but have had to use a public attorney (no charge) with the state advocacy
commission. I have tried to stay within the bounds of the law and not act
crazy, although just the thought of what he has done is enough. My ex has
disrupted my having visitation for one reason after another throughout this
8 months. This case is in North Carolina, my ex is a Dutch citizen, I am an
American, he has his alien residency through marriage to me. My son is
American. I have statements that will dispute his claim to not knowing that
I was relocating, I have AT&T statements of my telephone calls to my son
while he was on vacation and even after his return (his father claimed I
only called three times). I feel that I can have this order revoked,
vacated or whatever the term may be. But North Carolina law is tricky and I
What do you think my chances are? I have a good job, a nice house and
basically have done what I said I was going to do and reestablished myself
nicely. He is in the medical profession, has a decent house and pretty
stable to - but doesn't the fact he is trying to deceive the court have any
bearing? Sorry this got so long....I go to trial soon.
I am having a hard time understanding why you moved while your son was on
vacation and then your son not know how to get to you???? Why didn't you
let him know before he went on vacation or while he was on vacation and
you were talking to him?????
How old is your son???
I sure hope you have a great lawyer because it sounds like you are going
to need one!
Pick up my book "When the Vows Break: Living Through Separation &
Divorce" it will help you with the above questions plus how to join
support groups which you need to do! If you can't find it in your local
bookstore call my toll free number 888-267-3929 PIN #7176.
Maria Costa (Author & Seminar Speaker) A well known certified speaker
and seminar leader, continues to inspire, motivate and challenge people to push their envelopes farther, both before and after experiencing divorce. A graduate of National-Louis University,
with a Masters in Management, Ms. Costa is very active in her community. She
is President of the Board of Directors of the Women's Resource Center, Fredericksburg, VA, President of Hispanic Internal Revenue Employees (HIRE), IRS, Washington Chapter and board member of Professional Women's Network. Be sure to visit Maria Costa's web site
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