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Ask the Divorced Woman!
by Maria Costa
Title: Why Do We Forget Our Happy Times?
Question:
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What happens to a woman between 35 & 40 that causes her to want to start a new
life over? As I'm going through my divorce, I'm finding several others who
share a similar story as mine.
Wife is willing to leave husband and kids behind for a chance to start over, she is actually telling all our friends and family that she has never really loved me. So I guess the 15 years of marriage, three beautiful kids, and photo albums full of happy faces was all an act?
Please help me to understand, why she would say these things.
Answer:
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It happens to males and females. At some point in their lives, they see
the years go by and feel very frustrated with everything about themselves
and don't know what to do other than traumatize the whole family by
asking for a divorce.
Sometimes it is because someone new comes into their life and promises a "new life, new love, excitement, something different than the everyday "hum/hum" life that they've been living.
As far as her saying that she never really loved you - she is just trying to justify in her mind that she is doing the right thing. What she and many other folks don't realize is that you CAN'T RUN from yourself. The guilt of what she is doing to her loved ones - will soon catch up and then reality will really set in - loneliness is a major player. Usually the new romance doesn't last and they realize how good they really had it at home but unfortunately a lot of them don't know how to come back.
Hang in there and do the best that you can for your children, because if you think you are confused - put yourself in their shoes. Try never to talk "bad" about their mom in front of them - if you need to vent (we all do) find a friend that you can confide in - but not the children.
Best of luck, and understanding sometimes just comes with time. Change of life sometimes has a lot to do with it also!
Pick up my book "When the Vows Break: Living Through Separation & Divorce" it will help you with the above questions plus how to join support groups which you need to do! If you can't find it in your local bookstore call my toll free number 888-267-3929 PIN #7176.
Maria Costa (Author & Seminar Speaker) A well known certified speaker and seminar leader, continues to inspire, motivate and challenge people to push their envelopes farther, both before and after experiencing divorce. A graduate of National-Louis University, with a Masters in Management, Ms. Costa is very active in her community. She is President of the Board of Directors of the Women's Resource Center, Fredericksburg, VA, President of Hispanic Internal Revenue Employees (HIRE), IRS, Washington Chapter and board member of Professional Women's Network. Be sure to visit Maria Costa's web site
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