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Ask the Divorced Woman!
by Maria Costa
Title: Questionable Advice from Lawyer?
Question:
-
I just went threw a divorce. It was final on Dec. 3 of last year. The
papers haven't been
signed because i don't agree with one part of the papers. One part states
that both me and
my ex husband cannot :
-
1.allow an adult of the opposite sex to spend the night that is not a
relative or spouse.
2. we cannot spend the night at another persons house that is not a
relative or spouse
3. no kissing or holding hands or hugging with persons we are not
related to or married
to.
My question is..is this normal..I mean this sounds extreme to me..but they've written it in to my divorce papers which I haven't signed..my lawyer says that its standard and most just ignore it..but I know my ex..he'll file contempt on me for just holding hands. Can i get out of that ? also..it states that he should be allowed to claim all deductions and exemptions for 1997 and thereafter..meaning he wants to claim my kids..I said no..my lawyer says even if i sign the IRS law will override it since my kids live with me. Is this true..I'm not signing till I know for sure..
Answer:
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There is no divorce decree that can be signed with those stipulations.
Once you are divorced - you are free to do as you will, you are an adult.
I have heard of stipulations like these in separation agreements but not
on divorce papers.
I don't know what kind of a lawyer you have but he doesn't sound great when he is telling you that this is standard. What state are you folks in????
The only person allowed to claim children are the ones that support them for more than 1/2 of the year (food, shelter, medical). You have to be careful because if both of you claim the children - the IRS will catch you both because of duplicate social security numbers (children's) being claimed more than once.
Again, although you are correct in claiming your children - it can and will cause problems with the IRS if both of you claim them.
Is your lawyer - your spouses also??? Sounds like he is giving you some not so good advice!!
Maria Costa (Author & Seminar Speaker) A well known certified speaker and seminar leader, continues to inspire, motivate and challenge people to push their envelopes farther, both before and after experiencing divorce. A graduate of National-Louis University, with a Masters in Management, Ms. Costa is very active in her community. She is President of the Board of Directors of the Women's Resource Center, Fredericksburg, VA, President of Hispanic Internal Revenue Employees (HIRE), IRS, Washington Chapter and board member of Professional Women's Network. Be sure to visit Maria Costa's web site
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