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Ask the Divorced Woman!
by Maria Costa
Title: My Husband Left Me (After 30 Years) For My Sister
Question:
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It has been almost a year since my divorce. It was really a soap opera.
My husband of 30 years had an affair with my sister who was his high school
sweet heart. She left her husband of 21 years and moved into an apartment
only 28 blocks from me. She then started calling him and weak and stupid
as he was I found him 2 years ago on my birthday parked at her place. This
was a sister that was also my friend. I tried to help her whenever she
needed it and would do special things for her to help make her life better.
Apparently she was jealous of what I had or maybe the first love is
always the best. I have gotten over the fact that he just put his clothes
in the car one day without explanation but I still can't accept the fact
that my own sister did this to me. They have unlisted numbers and when I
went to her apartment to confront her she called the police and said I was
harassing her.
This is part of the story but I am not divorced. Our father is still living and is 87 and even though I love him very much he has allowed both of them to come to his house which is only 30 miles away. It hurts so bad to think that my father does not let her know what horrible thing she has done. When I ask him his reply is "She knows". Well apparently neither one is confronted by anyone to answer for their action!!! Family is suppose to support each other not destroy each others life. I just can't talk to my father and yet I feel real guilty! I need help. This time of year it is really bad
Answer:
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Any time of the year would be bad for your type of situation! Your
sister doesn't have to answer for her actions in this life time (never
really know he could do the same to her) but once she dies and you are a
believer in the almighty - then she will answer for all of her actions!
It isn't fair that you put your 87 year old dad in the middle of this - let it go (they sound like they deserve each other) and make peace with your dad - it is more important.
Families are suppose to support each other - but reality is that we all get hurt the most by our families and friends and that is because we love them the most - so whenever they do something that hurts us - it is double dosage!
See a counselor to help you over this hurdle - but what you are going through is normal for what has been handed to you!
Maria Costa (Author & Seminar Speaker) A well known certified speaker and seminar leader, continues to inspire, motivate and challenge people to push their envelopes farther, both before and after experiencing divorce. A graduate of National-Louis University, with a Masters in Management, Ms. Costa is very active in her community. She is President of the Board of Directors of the Women's Resource Center, Fredericksburg, VA, President of Hispanic Internal Revenue Employees (HIRE), IRS, Washington Chapter and board member of Professional Women's Network. Be sure to visit Maria Costa's web site
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