Navigate:

Separation and Divorce Without Desperation

You’ve had it! This marriage is finished. You’re not going to take another minute of this! You’re ready to say, “Take this marriage and shove it!”

I don’t want to destroy your spirit, but the counseling recommended in Chapter One or Chapter Two might do some good before you act on your emotions. You may need to slow down. However, even if you have already given it your best, you should still pause a moment. You are the one with control if you are ready to end this bad relationship. You can hurt, or help, yourself by the way you do things when you separate. Look before you leap, and you’ll end up with a lot more when you land.

Follow the road map set out for you in this chapter. You’ll be alerted to possible future problems, and then introduced to ways to prevent the result from being any worse than it need be. Line up the facts now so they’ll be in your favor, or at least not against you, when the important issues are resolved later. The earlier you start, the easier it will be and the more you will help yourself.

First, learn what you can do, starting long before you separate, that can affect the amount of support to be paid.

Second, if you don’t safeguard your separate property during the marriage, you can lose it in the divorce.

Third, putting everything into a new home often results in it being sold if there is a divorce.

Fourth, creating simple, special accounts commits joint funds to a specific purpose.

Fifth, we’ll examine a few of the possibilities and problems in a small business.Sixth, here are a few miscellaneous points to keep your expectations realistic.

Seventh, determine when, where to and how you move out usually sets the stage for the next six months. Review this before you go.

Finally, consider more suggestions for maintaining as much continuity with your children as possible.

Don’t bury yourself in planning and miss the bigger picture. Follow the counseling recommendations to achieve a guilt-free separation. This book and the world’s greatest attorney can’t help you if you’re determined to give away everything you’ve worked for.