cation
New
Reged: 07/18/07
Posts: 5
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I posted here before when I discovered that my husband had a secret second life with lots of women. I also discovered that he was looking for my gravesite in case something "suddenly" happened to me. I was in the process of leaving and had moved a lot of things out. He was furious and ended up pushing me down the stairs. He went to jail and I got an emergency protective order. We grabbed all of the business files and computers out of the house because I suspected a lot of incriminating things were there. The day after he was put in jail, someone broke into the house to get the files. They were too late.
I was floored with what I found. He was preparing to absolutely destroy me. He had manipulated our assets and was trying to make it look like I had made no financial contributions to our properties. He had manipulated my handicapped son's assets to try to get control and he was setting up e-mail accounts in my name. I have no idea what the e-mail accounts are for, but I am sure it wasn't something good.
The computer is going to some forensic computer specialists in Los Angeles to extract any searches and information to further establish his intention to harm me.
Meanwhile, he is ducking service for the permanent restraining order. If this restraining order expires, I am very afraid I will be harmed.I am also afraid he is still trying to damage me financially or in whatever way his twisted mind thinks.
I have tried to go into a shelter, but they will not take me because I have an adult handicapped son. My husband has also try to harm him. I stayed in motels and with friends, but when I was with friends, the neighbors came over to warn us that someone had been watching the house for some time. I left because I did not want to endanger them.
How can I protect myself?
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5191
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Ask the domestic violence shelters if they have advocates who can help even if you can't stay there, and get a safety plan. If they don't have advocates, call the sheriff, the police, the prosecutors & ask the same question. SOMEONE has an advocate who can help you. If not, call the national domestic abuse hotline. I don't have the number offhand, but I think Mistake does & she'll probably welcome the opportunity of your post to give it out again.
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cation
New
Reged: 07/18/07
Posts: 5
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I have asked domestic violence shelters in 3 counties. I have also called every phone number imaginable. We bounced around between motels and friends houses, but we didn't want to endanger them. So far, no help.
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jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1693
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Ok. There are things you need to do.
First - you need to put written instructions in place for the care of your son. Do a videotape outlining what you want and why so that he is not hurt if you are.
Second - if the court lapses the first, apply for another one with additional info on what is going on.
Third - sit down with the police and ask what your options are. I would think that being in your home, but hiring security would be preferable from a money standpoint.
Call the National hotline. Explain the situation and your problems locally and see what they say.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3310
Loc: Florida
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[quote]Ask the domestic violence shelters if they have advocates who can help even if you can't stay there, and get a safety plan. If they don't have advocates, call the sheriff, the police, the prosecutors & ask the same question. SOMEONE has an advocate who can help you. If not, call the national domestic abuse hotline. I don't have the number offhand, but I think Mistake does & she'll probably welcome the opportunity of your post to give it out again. [/quote]
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Unfortunately a piece of paper does not make you safe. I hope the national domestic abuse hotline can help, and maybe there is more help that can be found through any services that your son receives. Don't be afraid to speak up and ask. As far as a safety plan...if you don't have a cell phone then ask an advocate where you can get a free one, they don't have to have service to be able to dial 911. Ask as many people as you can to look out for you, establish a code word with relatives so that you can let them know if you are in danger and you need the police without having to tip anyone else off. Always be on alert when driving or parking somewhere, don't park in any spots that aren't easily seen or are isolated. Keep your car doors locked both while your in the vehicle and out, have keys ready in hand and cell phone too. If you can afford a security system then get one. Change your locks if you haven't already and lock them even during the day. Dogs make noise, if possible get one.
Don't be afraid to ask for help...and trust your instincts.
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