337newbie
New
Reged: 11/03/07
Posts: 3
|
|
I met my husband over 2 years ago while I was visiting NYC. We fell in love but I had to go back to my country, to finish college. He came to visit me, proposed and here we are. But here the facts:
-he has a kid and an ex wife whom he told me about 'looked better than me'
-even today I don't have access to our online bank statement, bills etc
-I do not have ONE single person to turn to here, he forbid me from buying a car or making friends
-bugged my latop-while I was in my country-and recording everything on it and transmitting it to his, in the US
-checking my emails, phone, yahoo, calling my office with a hidden number, screaming at me I am looking for guys downtown and so forth and so forth
-joked about having a detective to follow me while I was back home
The sad thing is that I am alone here and no person to turn to, isolated and my family thinks I am crazy for doing this. I will have some rough times ahead of me, as this marriage has turned me into an insecure person. Even more, I feel his jealousy and insanity are rubbing off on me.
Help!
|
annieonce
Platinum
Reged: 03/29/07
Posts: 221
|
|
I would suggest that you find the abuse hotline in your area. You can call 1-800-799-7233 this is the National Domestic Abuse Hotline and they can talk to you and give you a number in your area.
I would be careful if I were you about using the computer to access any information since he has already shown his willingness to tamper with it to track your internet activities. Be sure to erase your history and cookies after your visit to this site.
I really think the people at this number can help you. Good luck and keep us updated on your progress.
|
337newbie
New
Reged: 11/03/07
Posts: 3
|
|
Thank you so much for your reply. I was starting to think no one would notice my cry for help. My parents are blaming me for 'ruining' a family and a home, I will have to go back to renting and still wondering what was all this for?
|
annieonce
Platinum
Reged: 03/29/07
Posts: 221
|
|
I know it seems at this time that everything is a big mess, but it will get better. I think that eventually your family will come around and they aren't the one's living like that anyway.
Were you able to get a hold of the hotline? It is a 24 hour hotline. that is a start.
|
337newbie
New
Reged: 11/03/07
Posts: 3
|
|
I will probably give them a call today. However, my calls are being monitored so any wrong move on my part will mean another huge fight. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that this is not even such a big mess, since ANYTHING should be better than crying every night and living this way.
Thank God there are forums like this one!
|
2NoCharm
New
Reged: 03/05/08
Posts: 24
|
|
I've been in similar relationship.Same thing - spyware put on my computer, checking cellphone voice mail, etc.I say to you to gently move out of this relationship.This type personalty has no limits. Being lonely for a short time is a small price to pay for what may lie ahead in your future. He also probably has you convinced that you cannot live without him, yes? Well you can. You will make friends and you will be OK. The "brainwashing" goes with the territory but be strong and know you have as much self worth as he does.
|
stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1494
Loc: Texas
|
|
I suggest you read the following post (re: bugging and spyware) ...
http://www.divorcesupport.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/181217/an/0/page/1#Post181217
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
