totllylost
Bronze
Reged: 05/25/06
Posts: 32
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I don't know what to do. My ex and I are divorced and my kids, son age 13 and daughter age 11 live with their dad, even though I have custody and he has visitation on paper. My hubby now retires from the Navy in May 09'and we all felt it best at the time that my kids stay with their dad so they didn't have to relocate when my hubby got transferred. Then in 09 we will go back to WI and live together where the kids can go back and forth from dad and my house at will. However, I had found out while going through the divorce my ex had been getting hands on with my son who was 11 at the time. I told the court and of course it was viewed as a tactic used in a custody battle. So nothing happened. It appeared to not happen again. Then when I had moved, my son had called and said dad had hit him again. This has happened more than a few times now. The most recent was last week when my son called hysterical and saying dad and hit him and he had red maks all over his face and neck, he had what was the beginnig of what would become a black eye. When he went to school the next day, the teachers asked him what was wrong with his face and neck, thinking something he should see the nurse for. He lied and said it was new chlorine put in their indoor swimming pool. Just a rash. He had taken pictures and sent them to me and I was shocked and appauled. I couldn't let this keep happening. So, I called the school counselor and sent her the pics. SHe said I needed to call cps immediately and she had to report as well. Well, now my ex is furious with me and my son. He told my son, his relationship with his dad will never be the same after what my "son" caused. My son is very angry with me for calling. He said I should have not called. Well, Cps had an investigation and interviewd all the kids even his new wife's 3 kids. I don't know what is happening. My daughter said that there is an inspector coming on June 6th to talk to the whole family. How can I find out what is going on with the investigation adn tell them my ex is now making life hell for my son because of my calling. It pisses me off that he's the one who is doing the wrong thing. But he is making me to be the bad guy here. Has anyone ever gone through this kind of thing? How does it work? What else can I do? How can I find out what is happening? Please any advice or stories of experience would be SOOoooooo appreciated. I'm so afraid for my kids and fear I only made things worse for them. I know from my divorce that the "system" doesn't work and just makes things worse. I didn't know what else to do to protect my kids. My ex is very controlling, over protective and demanding. he thinks the world is his and everyone just lives in it on his terms. This is NOT about trying to get physical custody and move them out of state. I just want my ex to get his anger under control and find other ways to discipline and parent. I know teenage boys are a handful. However, there is NEVER an excuse I can think of to put your hands on them as discipline or out of anger.
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Jada
Platinum

Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3241
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Your son needs to tell the teachers and school nurse the truth. They are mandated reporters and they are a neutral third party.
Your ex may be telling him that he will be taken away from him, put into foster care and never see you again. You need to make sure your son knows that that won't happen. That if the investigation shows that he needs to be removed from his father's care, that he will come to live with you.
Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would move back now and get both kids back. You have legal custody.
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chatter box
Platinum
 
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1198
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It often takes CPS a long time to do envistigations. I probly would have gone to the kids doctor first with the problem and got there advise. It takes a long time to get results if any and even longer to get reports. You can file for a copy of the full report and enterviews concerning your kids but not hers. I did and never got them so you may have to keep up with it. It could take 3 or four months. If I remember right CPS envistigators have 4 or 6 weeks to file there reports. Your son is just going to have to get over it.
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jersey girl
Platinum

Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1519
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If they live with you on paper, then you need to take them in real life. Right now, this weekend. They are in danger and you need to respond.
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melanie14
Platinum
 
Reged: 03/11/06
Posts: 3057
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I hope you've picked them both up already. It's one thing to punish a child, it's a whole different story when he is getting beaten. How could you leave your children. They desparately need you now. Please go to them. It must be hard on your daughter seeing her brother getting abused too. That's mental abuse....
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