mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3310
Loc: Florida
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*Sleeplessness, fears of going to sleep, nightmares, dreams of danger
*Headaches, stomachaches
*Anxiety about being hurt or killed
*Temper tantrums
*Withdrawal from other people and activities
*Listlessness, depression, little energy for life
*Feelings of loneliness and isolation
*Substance abuse
*Talk of suicide or suicide attempts
*Fears of going to school, or of leaving mother alone, truancy
*Stealing
*Frozen watchfulness or excessive fear around the abusive person.
*Acting perfect, overachieving, acting like perfect adults
*Worrying, difficulties in concentrating & paying attention
*Bed-wetting
*Eating problems
*Medical problems like: asthma, arthritis, ulcers
*Posttaumatic stress Disorder
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sweetpea
Bronze
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 36
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My little one had nightmares and didn't want to go to sleep. I could not get him to sleep in his bed. He was wetting the bed and wouldn't go into another room in the house by himself. He would cry when he had to come home.
Now that his dad is no longer here I still can't get him to sleep in his bed, but that we are working on. He has stopped wetting the bed and the nightmares are gone and will go in another room without me. He even went into his room by himself to watch tv and closed the door. He now asks when am I coming to get him to come home. He has done so much better, this may have been the best thing for him.
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rrfam
New
Reged: 02/18/07
Posts: 7
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Most of these symptoms are so familiar to me. Since the divorce 4 1/2 yrs ago, my daughter has come along way. She used to have night terrors, have trouble going to sleep and then she was hard to wake up. She had to always be by my side wherever I went. She was scared of everything, like sirens, and she would have anxiety issues so bad. Trouble concentrating at school and lying became second nature to her.
I ended up taking her to several neurologists & psychiatrists. We found out she had several different issues from abuse that I had no idea affected her so badly. She has post traumatic stress, anxiety issues, antisocial, ocd, and she was put on medicine at night to help her sleep. Like I said though, she has come so far and has made an almost 360 turn around! No more calgon nights!!
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3590
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My oldest wanted to become all powerful so that he can protect me when Daddy hurt me.
He doesn't go around saying that anymore. Nor does he talk about the abuse that he witnessed. My youngest doesn't remember. She was 3 when the last incident happenedd (which was also the day that I kicked him out).
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bella
New
Reged: 08/30/07
Posts: 2
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what kinds of rights have your abusive ex's gotten to see your kids? and how have you gone about cutting down normal visitation?
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jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1691
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My ex's abuse of me was considered immaterial to the kids. It was his addictions that reduced his visitation. Courts have this blinders thing - if he hits you - that doesn't mean he'll hit them.
It is like a twilight zone.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3590
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[quote]My ex's abuse of me was considered immaterial to the kids. It was his addictions that reduced his visitation. Courts have this blinders thing - if he hits you - that doesn't mean he'll hit them.
It is like a twilight zone. [/quote]
Most of my ex's abuse was directed at me. But if he had thrown that watermelon that he had aimed at me at me instead of turning and throwing it on the floor, he would have hit our then 20 month old daughter that I was holding at the time. I still kick myself for not leaving after that incident.
And he has hurt my youngest, but not so bad that I would be able to get sole custody.
But I did get it put into a court order that he had to complete anger management courses before overnight visits started. And since he wanted me to agree to drop the restraining order, he agreed to that.
I just hope that that the 26 week long course that he picked actually works.
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wifey118
New
Reged: 01/16/08
Posts: 16
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SEPERATED NOW, BABY DUE IN JUNE, HAVE 1 YR OLD AT HOME ALSO HIS, CURRENT P.O. IS NO CONTACT EXCEPT REASONABLE VISITATION, WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE ALL VISITATION TO SUPERVISED, DIVORCE PROBABLY WON'T BE FINAL TIL OCT. , MOVING, DO NOT WANT HIM TO KNOW LOCATION, HE HAS ABOUT 4/5 ABUSE CONVICTIONS (3 ON ME) WHAT DO I DO
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Tracy Carr
New
Reged: 01/29/08
Posts: 2
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My stbx both physically and emotionally abused me for 15 yrs. I finally stood up to him one night in aug., sick with pnuemonia. He put his hands around my throat. I got him off me and picked up a baseball bat to protect myself (Im 5' he's 6'2). Know who went to jail that nite? ME. I never hit him with the bat, I used it to keep him away from me. Oh and did I mention that he was taking pics the whole time? I go to trial 2/8 for domestic abuse. Doesn't matter that his stories don't match between what he told the prosecutor and what he told the police.
My kids visit him twice a week due to his raging alcoholism. He actually has the audacity to ask for joint custody.
We owned a business that I have no access to funds, I'm living with my mother. Why should I have to prove that everything with my name on it is half mine? He should just cough up the half and get it over with. He also really has no interest in our kids, he's just fighting me for custody to hurt me.
There are days that the tears just come. This marriage was over a long time ago. Why am I still crying? And why are the Michigan divorce laws so unfair?
T
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2730
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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i Hate this list.
I wonder if kids get better over time once
the situation is gone.
I notice cycles.
Thing is, the child with the issues now,
is NOT the child physically hurt by my stbx.
But is the one that helped us get out of the house,
the one who'd go upstairs and close the door to get away,
stuff like that.
as for the courts.
jada's 100% on.
spousal abuse is irrelevant.
even if a parent DID hurt a child,
AND even if caa comes and talks to the kids
and all it has to be Really extreme and repeated
for loss of custody or whatever.
the courts are good about ordering angermanagement classes, etc.
i honestly think they can tell when a parent is telling the truth and order classes in those cases.
but, to a point, the courts hands are tied.
--------------------
taryn.
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