mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3139
Loc: Florida
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As I've ranted before I will spare most of the specific details, but with almost 10 vacancies at our rentals we are starting to run out of money...and not at a good time as I am nearing the end of my pregnancy.
I knew our situation was tight but when my husband started panicking tonight, I realized that we are really starting to go in the hole. All of our mortgages should debit by tomorrow, yet most of the tenants haven't yet paid their September rent...the ones that are paying that is. We generally have a $20,000 or so buffer but over the past few months we were trying to save on interest so we paid off equity lines with the understanding that we may have to pull more money off of them later but not a big deal right? Wrong, due to the economy they are shutting down the lines of credit so we won't be able to draw on ANY of them. We should have kept the money in our bank account instead of trying to save on interest. We'll make the mortgages this month, barely...but next month?
I have been trying to be supportive of hubby while we get apartments ready to rent, but honestly he's really been putting a lot of things off. He is no longer allowing me to clean any either so I feel useless.
I specifically did not want it to come down to him using the time that he's supposed to be taking off from work for the baby's birth to work on the rental properties, but that is exactly what is going to be happening. Okay, I'll just have to get over that...but the kicker is the comment he made today that hurt my feelings. He stated that he didn't know why he thought he could support 5 kids. Although I understand his frustration at the situation, it wasn't a comment that I really needed to hear when I'm preparing to give birth to the 5th child that HE was adament on having.
I AM COMPLETELY STRESSSSSSEEDD OUT!!!
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**2 1/2 weeks to go...should start counting down the days**
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Nish
Platinum
Reged: 02/18/07
Posts: 1246
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I am sorry that money is really tight for your family right now. Not exactly what you need with the impending birth of your baby.
Somehow you have to let it all go, for now, so as not to overtax your body with stress during the final couple weeks of your pregnancy. I realize that it is easier said than done, but right now, your only concern needs to be for your and your baby's well being.
I don't have a sense that your husband truly meant the comment he made about supporting 5 children. He is very stressed right now and I have a feeling, once he stops and thinks about what he said, he will be mortified that those words came out of his mouth. Stress can cause people to say and do things they normally wouldn't.
I had read that some banks would be eliminating their line of credits due to the economy. Those that are doing that are not just stopping them for customers who were not repaying the line of credit in a timely fashion, but also doing so for their good customers as well. Money has tightened up thanks to the mortgage meltdown.
It might be worth calling around to your local banks to see if they are all withdrawing equity credit lines. Hopefully you will find at least one if not more than one bank that hasn't eliminated that as a service to their cusotmers.
You shouldn't be cleaning homes at this late stage of your pregnancy. It doesn't mean you are useless. It means you are watching over that precious little one who will be arriving soon. This is how it should be.
You and your family will be in my prayers.
Hugs,
Nish
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happytobdivorced
Platinum
Reged: 03/15/07
Posts: 1086
Loc: Hell, USA
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I'm sorry you find yourself in such a tough financial situation. I hope things turn around for you soon.
I know your husband hurt your feelings but remember, you are pregnant and exta sensitive right now, and he is just stressed out. I think you both are using good sense not to have you cleaning properties right now.
Hang in there. The good lord has a plan for you, you just have to be patient and let it happen. Keep the faith.
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Message for my ex "I think you know by now, I'm not the person I used to be"
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WhatNext
Platinum
Reged: 10/11/06
Posts: 200
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Sounds like you need to "simplify" your life when it comes to the monthly overhead.
Good luck with everything.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4846
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My husband & I disagree about this one. He says your husband was probably reasonably trying to share his concerns and expressing a little bit of cold feet in relation to the current financial concern and wanting to let you konw that he takes full responsibility for the decision, which he thinks might not have been at the right time.
I agree with you that it was insensitive and it doesn't matter how much he wants to share his feelings of cold feet with you and take blame for something he thinks might have been a decision made at the wrong time... that what the HECK did he want you to do? You have to figure out how to HAVE this baby in peace and not deal with his cold feet.
But isn't cold feet over impending parenthood, even if REPEATED parenthood... isn't is a common concern? For women, also? I mean, doesn't the change about to take place not give you a little pause of your own? Every big step naturally comes with a little last minute jitters! Not that women should have to be subjected to thier spouses' cold feet at just THIS moment... THIS is the moment when you need HIS certainty about the decision... becasue it's not like you can change anythign about it ... not like you can go into a separate room and escape from it for a few minutes to collect your thoughts and then come back to reality and realize that the decision was a good one and that you WANTED this child... When you walk into your study for some private contemplation and to get a little distance, the thing from which you need a few minutes of independence follows right along with you! Whether or not it's fair, and my husband agrees with me on this part... this is a moment when men need to figure out how to handle thier jitters on their own!
And his current expression of it has a tinge of reality in the current financial crunch that makes it more troublesome, so maybe it's harder for you this time around.
Calm down. These things tend to work out. It takes more work, putting your nose to the grindstone, doing your part (and right now, your part means sitting there, gestating properly and letting him do all the prep work on the rentals). He might not end up gettign to take all the time off for the new baby that you had hoped, but in the grand scheme of things, in the tough economy, isn't that what men have always done? Sacrificed their ability to relax with the family in order to support the family?
As soon as you're ready, you'll be right back in there with him, cleaning out the empty units and getting them ready for new tenants... but for now... for this next month and a half, you simply have to trust that it's going to work out... and of course cut back on the luxuries. (Maybe the 16 year old would accept a smaller birthday party in deference to the family finances?... not that it saves enough to pay all the mortgages, but in tough times, even tiny bits of help can be a big help... and it really makes kids feel like part of the responsible family to help out like that EVEN IF they whine about it.)
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jbar
Platinum
Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 990
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The banks are just going to have to work with you or write off your notes and see you filing for bankruptcy. I used to be in the residential rental business and have an associate, now, who just laughs at bankers. He is always making a new deal with an enormous loan to rehab an older property. With this money he pays off old loans, does a little work on the new property and puts the rest in his pocket. Then he goes back to the bank asking for more to complete the work. What can they do?
Put all of your deadbeat tenants to work physically helping you clean houses, unless they want to be evicted.
"When you owe the bank $50,000.00 you have a problem. When you owe the bank $50,000,000.00, THEY have a problem!"
J.P. Morgan
Edited by jbar (09/06/08 04:36 AM)
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3139
Loc: Florida
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[quote]The banks are just going to have to work with you or write off your notes and see you filing for bankruptcy.
***We are probably putting more pressure on ourselves than anyone as we are not behind even one payment but I think that too is our own mentality of not wanting to get it to the point of being behind. Personal responsibility. We'd sell them before we'd allow bankruptcy to happen cause we do actually have a lot of equity in them - it's just a matter of being able to access the equity into cash***
(quote)Put all of your deadbeat tenants to work physically helping you clean houses, unless they want to be evicted.
***We have one or two that we have put to work, however in doing that we open ourselves up to liability as well. The other issue with some is that they are so lazy that they won't even try to work with us cause they truly just want a free ride and don't feel any guilt over ripping us off.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3139
Loc: Florida
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[quote]My husband & I disagree about this one. He says your husband was probably reasonably trying to share his concerns and expressing a little bit of cold feet in relation to the current financial concern and wanting to let you konw that he takes full responsibility for the decision, which he thinks might not have been at the right time.
I agree with you that it was insensitive and it doesn't matter how much he wants to share his feelings of cold feet with you and take blame for something he thinks might have been a decision made at the wrong time... that what the HECK did he want you to do? You have to figure out how to HAVE this baby in peace and not deal with his cold feet.
***I think he panicked when he looked at our bank account, realizing all our mortgages were about to debit and didn't think before he spoke.
I was surprised at the whole thing because just the night before he was talking about buying another foreclosure. I've been really digging my heels in stating "no, not right time as we need to get this other stuff straight first". He sees potential for the future earnings on it and I see it as we need to focus on what needs to be done right now as we have enough on our plate.
The comment just rings in my ears still. I know that he's not used to being in such a tight money situation and he feels responsible for allowing it to get this way...he said he shouldn't have told me which I disagree, I needed to know I just didn't need the additional comment which is what put me in tears.***
(Quote)He might not end up gettign to take all the time off for the new baby that you had hoped, but in the grand scheme of things, in the tough economy, isn't that what men have always done? Sacrificed their ability to relax with the family in order to support the family?
***I don't think he has a problem with working during that time, that's on me. I'll have to get over it. Yes on cutting back on extras, where that's possible. I hope this stupid tenant comes through tomorrow with the $3000+ money that she owes us. She got more than $5000 from her employer to pay us, but that doesn't mean she is going to.***
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4846
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It's amazing sometimes how one single deadbeat can want ot put a small business over the edge! And add up more than one and suddenly you want to konw why you even do this business.
One thing, my husband has been in construction forever. He grew up in the industry. His father was one of those home builder/remodelers for the last years of his career, and one of the problems they ALWAYS knew about was that you get to a point where it feels like it's not so hard, if you make a hundred thousand profit off re-habbing ONE house, you get this idea in your head that if you could jsut get 5 or 10 in the works, that you could make half a million or a MILLION dollars pure profit. What a great deal. So you leverage your life to get that going... and then you hit a spot in the market where it's not quite so easy to turn over the properties... maybe not just NOT profitable, but not POSSIBLE... and suddenly you've got an inventory of 8 houses ready to sell and $25,000 per month carrying costs and no buyers...
This same principle goes for every business... if you grow too fast for the infrastructure of your business to keep up, it's a danger that you'll have more on your plate than you can handle, and in an EASY time it'd be huge profitability... but in a TOUGH time (think... half the partnership out of commission to have a baby)... it's potential disaster.
Stick to your guns on this one. It's the right opportunity at the wrong time, which could end up being the thing that puts the number of rentals just over the edge with overhead. Not worth it.
JBar's comments are bizarre and kind of show his midnset... if you can weasel your way into something, cheat someone or convince someone to do it for you, then it's fair game. If you can find a way to leverage someone into giving you too much, they'll throw good money after bad just to try to avoid losing thier initial investment in you. It gives you the chance to borrow more than you can afford while making it harder for people with good records and no debt to make a start in a similar kind of borrowing.
Using bankruptcies and foreclosures as opportunities to create too much debt for yourself in the hopes that you'll make a big profit while knowing that if it doesn't work you can always just go bankrupt & wipe the slate clean.
Thank goodness most people in the world don't choose to work that way and I'm glad to know that you don't!
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jbar
Platinum
Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 990
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JBar's comments are bizarre and kind of show his midnset... if you can weasel your way into something, cheat someone or convince someone to do it for you, then it's fair game. If you can find a way to leverage someone into giving you too much, they'll throw good money after bad just to try to avoid losing thier initial investment in you. It gives you the chance to borrow more than you can afford while making it harder for people with good records and no debt to make a start in a similar kind of borrowing.
Using bankruptcies and foreclosures as opportunities to create too much debt for yourself in the hopes that you'll make a big profit while knowing that if it doesn't work you can always just go bankrupt & wipe the slate clean
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But this is what the "American Dream" is based upon, Gigi, "Other People's Money"!
Since this country was founded, and Thomas Jefferson remarked about what a racket they had with their "Continental Dollars", and could make them worth whatever they wanted, it has essentially been just one manipulation of people's confidence, and willingness to buy into one good-sounding version of "pie in the sky", after another.
Every ten or fifteen years the housing market crashes and has to start over again. The reason is always the same: greedy bankers willing to take big chances, for big profit and commissions, as long as their own, personal money is not on the line. The government always figures out a way to fix the situation without another depression. For the last 70 years this country has muddled through this way. It will be interesting to see if they can do it for another 70, or even 7.
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