Divorce Support Forums: Problem attorney!

If the case is over, your attorney withdrew and that's why the website lists you as pro per. Your lawyer should be able to provide you a signed copy of the decree, but you'd be better off going to get a certified copy, which is what you need to prove it for things like buying property, changing your name, etc, and the lawyer won't pay for the certified copy if you've not paid him.

He'll not be too excited to run back to court if you've not paid.

And failing to give you a bill? That almost never happens and is clearly an error, not an "evil lawyer" problem. Is it possible that your copy of the decree and the final bill and the motion to withdraw becasue the case was over were all sent to the wrong address? Lots of people move in a divorce, so the lawyers will get two or three addresses and some of them, the address books are a mess.

But what your ex has done, THAT is a PROBLEM.

Check with the bar association and get thier formal complaint form regarding not having received a copy of yoru final decree or a motion to withdraw OR a copy of the bill, which is a HUGE issue for the bar association. But recognize that it's probably just an oversight and THAT is not the problem. I think it would probably be called "falure to communicate" in your sitatuion. Your lawyer probably won't start a fresh case with you (post-decree enforcement) unless you pay up in full on the old one.

His weird suggestion that you actually HAVE sex to get your son, are you sure he was SERIOUS about the suggestion? I mean a lot of people who have been victimized by this type of behavior can be unusually sensitive about it and if he were making a crude joke you might not have realized it. Or maybe he was half serious but not really serious, you know?

If you're not comfortable with him, though, because of the past few failures to communicate and the weird suggestion that you need to have sex to get your son, you might want to find someone new who would make you more comfortable.

One other question. What is your visitation schedule? Is he primary custodian and how did that happen? WHY did that happen? If the ex said that you were abusive or a danger or something, and he'd be willing to ignore the court orders for you to NOT have the kids often if you gave him sexual favors, then ... well ... may I suggest that your lawyer's statement is not that far off... crude, but... here's the problem: If you are not allowed to see the kid except under certian circumstances because of things your ex told the court, but your ex is willing to ignore the court orders for ANY circumstance sthat have nothign to do with what he was complaining about, then his claim that you need to be kept from the kid in the first place becomes less credible. SO if you COULd get him to give you more time with the kid (I know, under the ridiculosu circumstances of prostituting yoruself for the privelege), then it would give you proof in court that your ex wasn't being entirely truthful about the need to keep you from the kid.

Oh, I know that's an awful thing to say. Let me say it the way it worked for a friend of mine when sex was not involved.

My friend's ex-wife claimed that he was abusive and awful and should never be allowed to see the kids except with supervision. Then she let him take the kids across the country to see thier grandmother, the very next week. And she decided she needed to spend a week with her boyfriend so she let him keep the kids the week after. And the kids were more than she could handle for homework time so she had him pick them up from school every day. And then she worked weekends so she decided he should have them every weekend. She finally told the judge, "he should never see them ever again without supervision, but I don't think you'll do the right thing, so I'll agree to letting him have them every weekend from Friday after school to Monday at school." The judge finally told her that her claims that my friend was abusive and a damage to the children were ridiculous if she was all interested in letting him have them for 3 days at a time every week. And it was clear this was just a ploy to get control so she could change thier ativities, their school, their church, without his consent.

IF your sitaution is something like that, where the reason you dont' have primary or equal custody is that your ex said something mean about you being a damage to the kids, then finding a way to prove that he would give them to you is the way to get the jduge to believe that he was lying about you being a damage to them.

Your lawyer put it in a VERY crude way, but that WOULD be one way of making the case for the judge.

Or you could tape your ex when he makes htese suggestions.