Divorce Support Forums: Hearing Feb 20

Hearing Feb 20

My stbx and I have a hearing Feb 20, in the state of California. I was a stay at home Mom for our 20 year marriage. I also assisted my stbx in running a construction business for 15 years.

After several visits to a mediator, we reached what I thought was a division of the community property/assets. The mediator quickly drew up a “Binding written agreement” I signed this agreement with the understanding that it was referring to the property listed on the propertizer printout. On this printout, the mediator listed the “possible value of business- 0” and “ possible spousal support-0”. Stbx has requested a hearing to hold me to the MSA that was drawn with the “binding written agreement” as a basis. When looking over the MSA, I was not agreeing with all that was put in there. The actual “waiver of spousal support” was not discussed. Two other reputable attorneys that I consulted with the MSA said it “is full of holes”. Part of the “binding written agreement” was that my stbx move and sell a RV from property that I now own. He says he has not done this due to difficulty in removing the trailer without co operation of the neighbor to open the locked gate that blocks the access. (He knew about this situation when he signed the agreement.)

At the first visit, the mediator suggested we get the business appraised, my ex (who was the one who still was running the business) never did this. Also, whenever I brought up the issue of spousal support he would rise from his chair and threaten me with hiring an attorney. Shortly after our legal separation and filing, and the first mediator visit, my stbx suffered spinal injuries in a motorcycle accident. The business was run by employees after this for a couple of months. My stbx had no health insurance, and his situation was not looking good. At the last meeting, the mediator told me the business is “worth nothing with out his goodwill”. His medical bills were ,eventually paid by Medi-Cal, and by an insurance claim filed against the man who ran into him. After this accident and the economy slow down, the business is not generating enough income, add to this, my stbx has bought another home with his girlfriend, and has accumulated much credit card debt. He has mentioned filing bankruptcy.

I was receiving voluntary support until this became a burden to him and then it stopped with out notice. Since then I have been living on the capital that I got from my half of the house. After considerable mental distress and confusion, I have got it together and enrolled in college, full time with the intention of becoming a Registered Nurse in the shortest course possible. I want nothing more than to be self sufficient and supporting, and I am doing well in school. I do not have enough capital to see me through my schooling.

I have consulted with an attorney a few times, however I cannot afford the retainer. She helped me write my response, which simply states that I will agree to the “binding written agreement“, excluding the business and spousal support .…This would grant him posession of over half of the assets, and grant him bifurication of the marriage that he requests. (I believe he wants to remarry) My stbx wrote the Judge a letter when he requested the court date, I then responded with my statement, but the stbx then wrote another response to that…I received the last letter on the date that closes the response period, so I cannot respond
again…I did not realized that he could again respond to my letter. How does the Judge view this? My stbx is writing the letters himself and is less than careful about including personal details that the Judge does not need to know.

So my questions are as follows:
Will I be able to collect spousal support? If not now, but when my ex gets back on his feet financially?

When in court, how much will I be expected to speak? My attorney told me to tell the Judge to refer to my letter of response, is this appropriate? It is difficult for me to represent myself especially against my stbx, I feel intimidated and have difficulty thinking clearly under the stress of the situation. This difficult situation I now have is the result of that.

Has anyone else had a “binding written agreement” drawn before the MSA? Does this method hold water? What is the point of having a MSA reviewed by your own attorney is this is all sewn up?

Any and all advice would be much appreciated.

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