msty
Platinum
Reged: 11/16/07
Posts: 221
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Tomorrow is my stbx birthday. He text messages me around noon telling me he wants to switch nights, and that he would take our daughter tonight. Since I already had plans with her I responded by email letting him know that I would watch her tomorrow if he wanted to go out but that tonight we had plans. He then sends a threatening email about how if I ever wanted to switch nights in the future I would do this and that he thinks it's important for us to try to accommodate each other. I agreed and sent another message stating that it is important for us to accommodate each other, within reason and next time he wanted to switch a day to give me some notice but that today was too late.
Then I get a text message from him, clearly meant for someone else agreeing that I am a total b&%ch and talking mad amounts of trash about me.
If he had asked me yesterday or over the weekend I would have agreed. But it was so last minute and so typical of him to wait until the last minute and demand that I make concessions for him that I just said no. I told him I'd watch her tomorrow and he said he'd think about it.
So now I am totally p.o. Where does he come off talking trash about me when he was the one who left me for our kid's teacher?
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Everything now is as it should be.
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ATVILLAS
Platinum
Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 2331
Loc: West Palm Beach FL
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Consider the "source" then don't worry anymore about it!! JMO
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Help someone smile today!!!
Welcome to paradise!!!
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 2026
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Msty. I love it when I get or see things like that. It's just another little reminder of why I am SO lucky to finally be separated from my STBX.
Think of it that way. When they happen I feel enraged for a short time, but then I end up thinking, "And I'm finally free!"
You are too.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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Sound like negotiations with my EX. Unfortunately she doesn't use text messaging so I get to spend quality time on the phone, her refusing to take no for an answer.
I'm to the point that dealing with her last-minute requests is such an emotional and logistical pain in the ass for me and the children that I've stopped giving them much consideration. Sad.
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jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1629
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And every time you don't do something for him - it is about "thinking about the kids first" - never that it was what he wanted.
If you think about the source and put the sentences into what I Want - it all translates and you can detach easier.
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weary
New
Reged: 09/17/07
Posts: 17
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Sounds familiar! It is SO frustrating when you are being accused of something and the other side isn't being fair or honest about the situation.
In January, my SS's mom tried that c#ap (again). We have been tracking changes, and replied to her lovely email with the facts - - She has made 13 changes since the new residential schedule. We have made one change, and she would only agree to our extra day if we lost a day the following week. I'm thinking she may stop with that false accusation. I would not want to see her texts about us!
Hang in there!
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msty
Platinum
Reged: 11/16/07
Posts: 221
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I do feel free. I feel lucky to be done with him, but the pain of being left for someone else, someone I knew and trusted still burns. I feel lucky that I am (almost) no longer married to the man. But because we have a daughter we both love very much and want to spend time with, I still have to deal with his last minute demands. I still have to deal with the craziness and selfishness and the overall pain in neck of his behavior.
Considering it's his birthday, I have no problem watching the kid. I DO have a problem with him expecting me to drop everything at the last minute for his convenience and expecting me to do it with a smile. When I don't jump at his demand, suddenly I get ominous threats of, "well, we can do this the hard way or the easy way." Frankly, nothing with the man has ever been easy.
I know that his attitude and reasoning will likely never change. And nothing about his attitude or behavior makes me want to do favors for him. I just want him to chill. No more demands, no more threats, no more insults and it would be REALLY nice to not have his new girlfriend thrown in my face every chance he gets.
SIGH. So... I have how many more years of this man to deal with? Oh yeah, only the rest of my life. Wonderful.
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Everything now is as it should be.
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msty
Platinum
Reged: 11/16/07
Posts: 221
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Yes, he definitely feels that what he wants is "best for everyone." Ugh. I can't tell you how many times he has said that to me.
Pompous @ss.
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Everything now is as it should be.
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faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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While I've never gotten the text message meant for someone else which bashes me (and oh, that would be just lovely if I did), my X has informed me outright that I don't have the child's best interests because I've made a counter-proposal, or suggested that we speak to a court ordered and court appointed mediator to decide what IS best for her, and didn't just jump to do what HE wanted/suggested/asked.
It was a dynamic in the marriage that I had a tendency to give in to the bully pulpit to keep the peace. Having broken free from the relationship, I don't have to do that anymore, and don't have to feel guilty about it either.
People like that self-destruct over time. It's a matter of giving them enough rope and letting them hang themselves.
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WolRon
Platinum
Reged: 01/16/08
Posts: 255
Loc: MN, USA
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"Yes, he definitely feels that what he wants is "best for everyone." Ugh. I can't tell you how many times he has said that to me.
Pompous @ss."
Who's talking trash now?
Be careful what you say. (BTW, I agree with you about him not allowing you enough time to change schedules)
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I didn't get married to pay CS later in life.
http://home.cmit.net/rwolbeck/childsupport
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