Divorce Support Forums: Venting is good for the soul

My husband's ex.... grrr, just makes me so mad sometimes. The kids are with us during the week. Friday is her "day". Her "time" starts afterschool. The kids have a 1/2 day tomorrow. She knows this but only says that she hasn't made plans to pick them up when my husband asks her directly if she has. She then expects us to "work it out". Both he and I work full time, she works part time. She volunteers in the school, but only in the daughter's class. Got all huff b/c bonusson had an IEP on a wednesday... my husband's schedule allowed for that day and the kids are with us during the school week. She hasn't attened conferences or IEP for the son in two years. In any case, bonus son's autism is becoming evident in his immature behavior... playing star wars when he's finished his work instead of reading at his desk... getting frustrated and hitting his desk instead of raising his hand. His grades are great. I digress,,,, back to my annoyance..... she wants us to "work it out". My son "who she had a fit when he started watching them during the summer has 1/2 day too. I can't take off work b/c my boss already called for the 1/2 day to take a group of kids from church camping...... My husband works key to key on Fridays and is a manager so he can't just leave for a 5-6 hours in the middle of the day. I worked it out.... my bosses's daughter is being picked up by her grandma, who lives a couple houses away from our house. So the kids are going home with her and my son is going to get them when the bus drops him off (he gets out an hour later than they do). My husband's ex is going to have to pay him 20.00 for about 4 hours. That is double his summer fee. I told my son it was his choice.... he was giving up time with his dad. So it's all worked out. But am I wrong to be annoyed that she consistantly waits til the last minute to let us know thing like this? Worst case senariom I'd forward all work phones to my cell and go get the the kids... I am not going to leave them like that. I guess she knows this and works it as best she can. Ohhhh btw, after being "miffed" when she found out when the IEP was, she hasn;t once asked how bonus son is doing..... even though with this 1/2 day mess we've had contact about 3 times yesterday. I;m sure if it were bounusdaughter she'd be all about what the teachers had to say. Then again she is in bonus daughter's class so much that she has started bringing in worksheet books for the teacher to use. Am I a little jealous.... sure, I recognize that. I am glad little girl has the oppritunity to be close with her momma, it sucks to see little boy left on the wayside. They are only one grade apart. It seems the bio momma does things when it is convient for her. She likes being a part time momma and doesn't go out of her way to be in their life when it isn;t her "day". Then there is the whole is she splitting up with her current husband... she moved back to this state when school started and he stayed in VA. The kids say they don;t go to PPPP's house anymore. And he doesn't come to mommy's condo. She works Tues-Friday and has the kids on the weekend... soooo when does she see him? How is this going to effect the kids?
And on top of all this we emailed her a month ago about her increased financial responsibility and she hasn't had a chance to "research" to see if the numbers are accurate. B/S! We gave her the info.... even told her we'd show W2's and insurance bills, We have the reciepts for afterschool, but didn't include what we pay my son to watch them in the summer b/c he is a minor and doesn't make enough to claim taxes so it wouldn't be on our taxes as an expense. The rest is a straight up state child support calculator. I am sorry, this has just bothered me this am. She's not a "bad" mother.... It just seems to me that she is pretty self centered and it sucks. I guess I just don't think like she does so it is hard for me to identify with where she is coming form.