ya know as parents we have the ability and know-how to reach out to friends, family and therapists for support through divorce and custody problems. But our children have a hard time with that. They don't always know that it is ok to talk to their parents and others. They don't know if one parent is messing with their heads or not. They don't know if the parents are completly not getting along. But wait, they do. They know all. And if one parent is seriously screwing up them will know. The will know. Unfortunately.
I was once told by the former GAL that the kids will one day realizw that their father puts other people and other things in front of them and will stop expecting so many things from him. The is sad.
I have read several posts from fathers and I only wish that my girls had a father that worked so hard at putting them first instead of his wife and her three kids.
divorce is so hard for the kids when a parent drops the ball. im thinking mine probably would have dropped it long before he did...but while we were married i kept handing him the 'kid ball'...'go ask your dad too...' 'the kids want you to take them to..' stuff like htat.
NOW he's being who he proably always was. my poor kids.
the one next to the littlest told me last weekend "dad told me a lie" (and went on to describe it..it WAS a lie) i said im sorry. did you say any thing to dad about it? this kids' response "no. when he lies we all just pretend he doesnt. you know. like it's the truth." how SAD is THAT?
the older one told me dad only cares about stuff that really only had to do with HIM.
and...another broken promise resulted in the " well, im figuring out NOT to believe anything he tells us, mom".
i just say...'im sorry' i used to make up excuses like saying maybe you misunderstood what dad said, maybe he forgot. stuff like that. now i just give a hug. listen. and say im sorry youre dealing with this. i suggest the kids talk to their dad about whatever. someday they might.
they are quickly becoming disenchanted. the good thing fo rthe littler ones is...they will be used to it. the older ones...for them..it's heart crushing.
Thank you so must for saying all that you did. I really appreciate it. I DO remember good times with him and the girls, but like you I nudged him to do a lot. He did not take the initiative to do a lot for them.
Now they come home and complain about this and that. It is now April 6th and they have not gotten their christmas presents that he keeps promising them. Neither one has gotten their birthday presents yet either. One is in November and one is in January.
Also every time they do a chore money is added to their "pot". My oldest has about $300 and her sister has about $200.
Mind you this is what they tell me. One time did I say something bad about all this. They were grumping about doing something and I said at least I pay you your allowance.
I feel bad talking bad about their father even in that much.
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