Middleman
New
Reged: 04/17/08
Posts: 5
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Not enough time to get into why and where, but this guy wants out of marriage, and wants soon-to-be-teen son to be able to finish school in his hometown back in midwest. Currently living in west. First and foremost, have family there. None here. Housing and education less expensive. Wife has family overseas. Already, you can see a difficult situation right? I can answer questions if necessary, but what are my chances of being able to force the issue to get wife (too darn cold in midwest) and son (sure miss that snow) to move to midwest. I would much rather pay for 2 houses in midwest than the one I live now!
I have thought a long while this is a dream that wont happen, and I will have to compromise, but to what extent?
Since I have not mentioned these ideas yet of course (there is history though that prevents even slightest thought of wife going to midwest...) to either son or wife, I am concerned that wife may be so upset, I dont know how she would react. She is the controller now of all. But not for long. What are my chances of actually gaining some control over my life and still be able to physically move me and my son at least to midwest? Will I have to suffer the current mortgage on a different economy? I suspect I can keep my job by the way, at least in some form. Thanks for any advice.
Why middleman? Back to the controller, I will let her answer...
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3591
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If your wife does not want to move to the midwest, then you can't make her. You can move, but don't expect to be able to take your son unless your wife agrees or the courts let you.
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Middleman
New
Reged: 04/17/08
Posts: 5
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There is only one way to find out I guess. The benefits are too great to skip the opportunity.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3591
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[quote]There is only one way to find out I guess. The benefits are too great to skip the opportunity. [/quote]
There is no benefit that would be worth becoming a stranger to your child. And that is what will happen if you move. Because unless your wife allows you to move with the child or moves with you (which you can't force her to), you will become a stranger to your child. You won't be able to be as involved as you are now. Look up the long-distance parenting plan in your state (not the one you want to move to as that state won't have jurisdiction as long as your wife remains in the current state). That is how often you will see your child.
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faith4two
Platinum
Reged: 11/11/07
Posts: 353
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Okay, just because I'm curious, what if the son is of the age of consent to say "I want to live with Dad in the midwest"? Does this have NO bearing?
Please be aware I'm not taking a side here - it's of NO consequence to me and I'd be fighting tooth and nail to keep my spouse within an area where I could have frequent and continuing contact - but where do the kid's wishes play into this considering the description "soon-to-be-teen".
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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[quote]There is only one way to find out I guess. The benefits are too great to skip the opportunity. [/quote]You don't have anything to lose by putting a move forward as part of your divorce settlement proposal. If your son is 12 or older, you can ask that the judge talk to him and assess his desires with respect to where and with whom he prefers to live.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3591
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[quote]Okay, just because I'm curious, what if the son is of the age of consent to say "I want to live with Dad in the midwest"? Does this have NO bearing?
Please be aware I'm not taking a side here - it's of NO consequence to me and I'd be fighting tooth and nail to keep my spouse within an area where I could have frequent and continuing contact - but where do the kid's wishes play into this considering the description "soon-to-be-teen". [/quote]
Probably not. It's not like the father is just moving down the street. He's planning on moving quite a distance away.
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pdm1960
Platinum
Reged: 02/15/06
Posts: 284
Loc: California
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middleman,
You write this post as if you are whispering....
sorry to hear you live with a controller.
you can't make them move.
many quality fathers, and mothers, live away from there children, only to see them on holidays and summers (many in the military)
People live at great distances for various reasons. If you feel you can be a good parent and live that far away and arrange visitation to be a part of his life and yours. Move on.
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