mandyh
New
Reged: 06/18/08
Posts: 1
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My husband left me last week after 11 years of marriage and 2 children (9 and 1). Since then we have both been civil if not friendly to each other. He has come over every morning to watch the children and tonight we meet with a mutual friend to discuss splitting up the assets etc. Is it possible for 2 people to actually be friends after this is all said and done? Don't get me wrong, I am very hurt but am trying to do this with as much grace and dignity as possible for the kids and my own sanity.
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 1592
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It can be done and I applaud you for making every effort to do so. It will be in your children's best interest to do so. Sorry you're in this situation. It stinks.
You can find good advice from people here on what to make sure you get included in your divorce decree about child support, visitation, etc so you get it done right the first time. Especially if you're doing it on your own without lawyers.
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1472
Loc: Richmond, VA
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Well, if this is recent, I will tell you that attitudes can change and what is friendly now could turn ugly. That's not to say it can't get friendly again after that. My ex and I split on good terms and compared to what I've seen out of others, we are still reasonable with each other. We have moments though. It can still go either way.
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Insert witty comment here. 
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Motor-Head
Platinum
Reged: 02/07/08
Posts: 715
Loc: 10,000 RPM
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Yes it can be done
I and x used 1 lawyer
Took us just a couple of hours to settle up on assets etc
Just got all ### around and went at it.
Had a fair amount of assets so we were not dividing pocket change.
Have 2 kids 10 and 13.
Take the emotions out of it and it can be done and done fast with min $$$ pissed away on L taking your $$$$$$
Good luck , keep your cool and it can be done.
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jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1693
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Yes - look into collaborative divorce. It is far cheaper and better for all involved.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3312
Loc: Florida
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I'm not sure if it can stay that way or not...my 2nd ex and I started off well enough. We sat down the night he served me with papers, after I told him I hated him for being so cruel in the way he served the papers, and we discussed what we would do with assets and in regards to the children all very civilly. The next day we discussed an amicable divorce and set up counseling sessions, first counseling session went well enough but I could see the writing on the wall and had my attorney write up exactly the agreement we had came to. Two weeks later I found out he had been abusing the kids and that he had been cheating and I refused to get back together with him. He had a short stint in a mental institution then got nasty. Fought everything tooth and nail, and for no reason other than anger as we ended up back to the original agreement with the exception of his length of parenting time with the kids due to the abuse.
So can it be done?
In my experience it couldn't be...but hopefully you'll have a different experience. Just keep your eyes open.
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