Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 237
Loc: Texas
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OK we have have joint custody of our two children. I am the primary conservator over the children and they live with me. I pay for day care, insurance, etc. She buys them cloths and things whether they need it or not. She is good about that. I get to claim both of the kids as dependants for my tax return. I make 75% more than she does. She told me yesterday that her attorney told her that there is a paper that I can sign that would allow her to claim one of the children as a dependant. I really don't want to sign the paper. I was thinking about asking her to figure her taxes with a dependant and with out one dependant. I would then pay her the difference. Any thoughts or suggestions?
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3591
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[quote]OK we have have joint custody of our two children. I am the primary conservator over the children and they live with me. I pay for day care, insurance, etc. She buys them cloths and things whether they need it or not. She is good about that. I get to claim both of the kids as dependants for my tax return. I make 75% more than she does. She told me yesterday that her attorney told her that there is a paper that I can sign that would allow her to claim one of the children as a dependant. I really don't want to sign the paper. I was thinking about asking her to figure her taxes with a dependant and with out one dependant. I would then pay her the difference. Any thoughts or suggestions? [/quote]
If you are the custodial parent (not talking about joint legal here, but primary residential parent) and the exemptions are not addressed in the court order (and even if they are)then you get the exemptions. Yes, you could sign form 8332, but you are under no obligation to do so. Is she paying child support?
I would ask that she figures out her taxes with and without the exemption (make it clear that you haven't agreed to anything) and see how much she would get back. And then you figure out your tax return both with both kids and with only one kid. Remember that you get head of household, the childcare deduction. The child tax credit follows the kid, so if you let your ex claim one kid, she also gets the child tax credit.
If the difference is less than what she would benefit by claiming one child, then let her have the exemption and save yourself money. Here is an example of what I am talking about:
Your ex would get a refund of $500 if she didn't claim a child.
Your ex would get a refund of $2,500 (the child tax credit is $1,000 and comes directly off of taxes, not income plus the $3,300 would lower the initial tax due) claiming one child. That is a net benefit of $2,000 to her.
You would get a refund of $5,000 if you claimed both kids.
You would get a refund of $3,500 if you only claimed one child. That is an increase in the taxes that you paid of $1,500 to you.
You would end up paying more by paying her the difference in this scenario.
I think you get my point.
Or you could just not let her have the exemptions.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5191
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If it's not in the decree, you dont' have to give her the exemptions, but the NICE thing to do... the MORALLY RIGHT thing to do is to give her exemptions consistent with her percentage of the total income/support given to the kids (so long as she is current in any obligation to you). If she makes 25% and you make 75%, and you only have 2 kids, then you take both kids' deductions one year and give her one of them the next year.
But then again, I knwo some couples who are really good at working together, the HIGHER earner takes all the exemptions because it makes a bigger difference in thier tax return, and then gives the proper percentage of the difference in the return.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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Simplest solution is to keep doing what you have been doing? Any reason that's not workable? Is she threatening you?
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2274
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What is your shared custody arrangement? Do you have 50/50? If so, the right thing to do is share the dependents, regardless what the law, decree, or an attorney says.
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kota1967
Platinum
Reged: 01/26/06
Posts: 1480
Loc: New England
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Beat: it is called a 1080 and I just asked my X and he refused to sign it so I could claim one of our three children...you have no obligation to do this...if you provide over 50% of their expenses and they live with you over 50% of the time she has no legal right to claim them...(:
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Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 237
Loc: Texas
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I told her to figure her taxes with and without one dependant. I would then pay her the difference. She told me not to worry about it. She said she would just have to learn to deal with it. She said she just gets aggrivated ad times with the way things are. I still may just give her a check to help her out. I pay for child care and insurance each month. That is around $800/month. She does not pay child support. I just fill bad for her bc I know she is struggling with her bills. Maybe her soon to be husband can help her out. Oh yah he dosen't have a job. Darn the luck!!!
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
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happytobdivorced
Platinum
Reged: 03/15/07
Posts: 1130
Loc: Hell, USA
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There are alot of conflicts between ex's and I live it each and everyday. I recognize that you are being a good man. Thank you.
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Message for my ex "I think you know by now, I'm not the person I used to be"
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5191
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She doesnt' pay support? Then don't give her the exemptions. It's a money thing, not a visitation thing. The exemptions usually go with the parent who pays the money (proportionately with the amount they pay) unless the divorce order forgets to mention it. In absence of an order explaining who gets the exemptions and when, the IRS will just say that the exemption goes to teh parent with more than 50% parenting time (the IRS is not the place to argue the divorce issues, so they do this because it's the only CERTAIN measure they have to tell who is supporting the kids).
It's kind of a reward for the person who provides most of the support for the kids (the one who HAS them most of the time if the one supporting them is not obvious). It is meant to HELP the finances of THAT person.
In YOUR case, Beat Down, if you are having ZERO financial problems, if you are Donald Trump and you kept custody of your new baby when you kicked the latest and youngest girl out of the Tower, then it's clear that you have enough $$ to get all the nannies you need for the new baby, it's clear that this baby will have plenty of $$ for college by you, and on TOP of that you can clearly afford your own retirement, your other kids' needs, and STILL have a couple of bucks left over at the end of the year... well THEN, it's totally reasonable for you to let her claim the exemption.
But if you're like most of us, struggling to make ends meet and save for both your own retirement and the kid's college, where the extra couple of bucks might provide a little ease in the budget so you can treat the kids to an ice cream next summer at the state fair... well... the exemption is for the PURPOSE of letting the one who pays for the ice cream get a couple of sprinkles on top.
It's not meant to help ease the budget of the woman who cheated on you, repeatedly, left the kids with you, does NOT pay for them, does not work enough to support herself (OR the kids) and is now about to marry the man she cheated with. You are not required to help ease her budget so that she can afford prettier flowers for her next wedding. The exemption for having hte kids... it's more important that it goes for the KIDS... so keep it. OK? No one will think you're not a nice guy if you don't help your ex finance her continued relationship with the man she cheated on you with! You're the primary parent, you provide the primary income, and she left. You're not Donald Trump, you don't have to finance her.
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Beat-Down
Platinum
Reged: 08/20/07
Posts: 237
Loc: Texas
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gigi-
I know that I am not obligated to pay her anything nor do I have to let her claim one of the children as a dependant. I just feel bad for her. I know I shouldn't because this is the life that she wanted but I do. You are right about the money and I should just keep it and do something nice with the kids. That makes more sense to me now. Sometimes I just catch myself feeling sorry for her. I have got to let it all go but it is so hard to do so. Despite how awful she has treated me she once meant everything to me. Ok now I am feeling really sappy.
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Don't stop until it sounds expensive!
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