justme1961
Gold
Reged: 03/11/08
Posts: 194
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Well , my ex-husband is still staying with us. Who knows how long that will be for (hopefully not much longer). He went to court for his arraignment this week only to find out the judge is on vacation and his arraignment is postponed until the 1st week in July. He goes next week for the restraining order his wife took out on him-not sure what the outcome will be for that. He is a mess-wondering why she won’t contact him. My husband and I think she is trying to move on with her life.
Earlier this week he asked me to reconsider my motions for contempt (non-payment of child-support, alimony and arrears plus not supplying court-ordered income documentation). He is currently working a temporary, seasonal job (which is NOT is his field) and the state has been taking child support directly from his paycheck. He is not left with much after the deductions for child support (I have only received 2 payments) and taxes.
The hearing for the contempt charges was 3 weeks ago. At this point I feel it is pretty much out of my hands (and after all I went through I don’t think I should reconsider). Ya, right now he is down and out. But, what will happen when he gets back on his feet? I am positive he will waste no time putting the screws to me again. Especially if he gets back together with his wife, who feeds his delusions.
I am a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason”. I just hope he has hit bottom and learned a big lesson. But, he has been there before and, once he got back on his feet, he was the same old selfish jerk he always was.
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asadmom
New
Reged: 05/07/08
Posts: 21
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I feel your pain. My ex is currently down and out too. He did, however manage to go through 2.4 million dollars in three years. I find it hard to feel sorry for him. Had he put some of that money away for his kids college I think I could be reasonable on the back child support he now owes me. As it is I don't feel sorry for him one bit and feel like he should sell some of his "toys" to pay his child support or gee...get a job. If I were you I would continue on with the court system. Let them set up a payment plan or something for him. After all, regardless of his financial situation you still have child/children to support. BTW kuddos to you for taking him in. There is noway in h-e double hockey sticks that I would have with my ex.
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justme1961
Gold
Reged: 03/11/08
Posts: 194
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Thanks. It is nice to know my situation is not unique.
Wow, I thought my ex was financially irresponsible. Your ex makes him look like an amateur.
So many people have said the same thing you did about taking in their ex. Honestly, I never thought I could be civil to him. I couldn't face my children though if they found out he asked for my help and I turned him away.
However, 3 days (72 hours) has now turned into 3 weeks. He goes to court tomorrow for his restraining order. I think he is hoping his wife will take him back-which seems unlikely. He has nowhere else to go and he is wearing out his welcome with us.
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 1325
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Justme,
Have you decided how long the stay is allowed to last? If you don't set a time limit, you will probably become more and more stressed about the whole thing. The uncertainty must be really tough. Doesn't he have ANY friends or other family in the area? This really isn't fair to you. Personally, I could never do what you're doing. My stbx would have to stay outside in the garage or something!!
Are your kids at least enjoying having him there?
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justme1961
Gold
Reged: 03/11/08
Posts: 194
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It is funny you mentioned the garage...He is staying in our family room over our detached garage...but it doesn't have a bathroom so he has to come in the house for that.
My son seems pretty unaffected by his presence. On Saturday I had to ask him to spend time with his father to cheer him up...teenagers!
It is getting very stressful-my husband and I have tried to set a date for his eviction, but we are kind of in limbo with his court matters. He is even driving our truck because his wife won't let him get his car. But when he goes to court for his DUI they will probably take his license.
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