acekat
New
Reged: 02/05/08
Posts: 3
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My husband and I are divorcing. He is moving back to California and wants to sign away all parental rights. I want this too as he is not a good father and has nothing to do with our daughter. Does anyone know where we can get a form for this purpose? Thanks for any help/info you can provide.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2190
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Voluntary termination of parental rights is almost impossible unless there is another adult willing to adopt the child and assume the rights the parent is willing to relinquish . It can't just be anybody willing to adopt either , normally the courts require a willing spouse to proceed .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5052
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An explanation of AnswerGuy's answer might help you figure out what to do next:
Generally, the states want children to have TWO parents so that if one can't support the child, the other will have to. They do not want to be providing government assistance to a child whose ABSENT parent could afford it, so they won't let one parent DISOWN a child and avoid responsibility that way.
I assume all you wanted was for him to not have to pay support because YOU were able to support the child (if you were wanting to get government support rather than get teh support from the father, you're out of luck... taxpayers like myself don't love supporting a deadbeat's child and if the father is around, we just don't let that happen just like that)... I assume also that your stbx simply doesn't wnat to have to play daddy.
BOTH of those goals are legitimate and you CAN accomplish them, just without relinquishing parental rights. In the divorce, you give yourself sole custody, give the father the right to move out of town and zero visitation time until he chooses to get counseling (it gives him the option to change his mind at a later date once he's had the chance to get away from the divorce trauma), and you waive child support, showing to the judge that you are fully capable of supporting yourself and the child on your own without his or government support.
And then if another man comes into the picture and wants to be the fahter, you can terminate parental rights at the same time as you petition for step-parent adoption.
NOW, if you were wanting to terminate his rights because you didn't want to deal with him about support, he wants to become a deadbeat, and you wnated to be eligivle to receive government assistance because your child is officially fatherless, it won't happen. Prepare yourself for whatever you have to, for the battle to get support from your ex, understanding that if you DO end up getting government support because he becomes a deadbeat, then the government will probably chase him down and want to put him in jail over it eventually, even if you'd rather just forget about it all.
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acekat
New
Reged: 02/05/08
Posts: 3
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It's not about the money. I have been our sole support anyway so I'll actually be better off financially when he's gone. Our baby was born before we were married and he's never acknowledged her, not even on the birth certificate. I just don't want him coming around a year from now making any demands about a child he's had nothing to do with.
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acekat
New
Reged: 02/05/08
Posts: 3
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What if the child was born before the marriage and he's never acknowledged paternity in the first place. Is there anything that can be done then? I just don't want him coming back later and making any demands or stating he has any rights. I've been our sole support this whole time and I will raise my daughter on my own, but I don't want to take the chance on him wanting to exert any kind of rights later when he's not taken on any responsibilities.
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twinmom
New
Reged: 03/10/08
Posts: 3
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I have watched this first-hand with a friend and he revoked his parental rights and she got her daughter without having anyone in her life. It can happen-it's just hard. She took every ounce of support he had ever given her and kept it in a bank account and when the courts told her she had been using the money-she handed them a bank statement showing that his child support had been put away and she had never touched a dime of it for her daughter. It can be done. She went to court and stated why she was okay with him revoking his parental rights and the courts went with it. Her daughter is now 9 and has yet to see her biological father, once. My friend is still single too. Call an attorney and good luck!
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