stoltz
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Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1478
Loc: Texas
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1928899/Men-'not-interested-in-sex'.html
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Increasing numbers of middle-aged men are going off sex, according to relationship experts.
Counselling and sex therapy charity Relate says it has seen a 40 per cent increase in men who simply cannot be bothered to make love to their wives and partners.
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I really, really wonder if their sexual "turn off" is more related to the pressures they feel in their relationship. Many women think sex is 100% physical when it comes to men (IOW, men can do it whenever, wherever, however, with whomever), but men actually have a psychological side that can inhibit their sexual drive every bit as much as, if not moreso than, women.
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 ATVILLAS
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Reged: 05/12/07
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Loc: Lost in the post D maze!!
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Damn, thats whats wrong with me!! I was born in England!!!
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Help someone smile today!!!
Welcome to paradise!!!
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saamrodi
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Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2898
Loc: here
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So, you wonder if the race of b*tchy women is increasing..hmm...maybe.
Also, what exactly is "middle-aged" in a society that is living 1,2,3 decades longer than in history?
Besides, this is one study, Im sure there are plenty on females and their decreasing drives. I hear it all the time. Its the relationship that affects everything.
Goes both ways.
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"A man must not deny his manifest abilities, for that is to evade his obligations." ~W.F.~
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jbar
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Reged: 12/16/06
Posts: 990
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I wonder how many of these men, who are no longer interested in sex, have been arbitrarily threatened by their wives with divorce and the loss of everything they have, if they failed to accede to their most outrageous demands.
I wonder how many more, then, became red-faced, stunned and nonplussed, when they found out that she really could do this. Lastly, I wonder how many then began to hate their own sexualities for getting them into such a mess, thus initiating a psychological aversion to sex, eventually leading to impotence.
I know that this is certainly what happened in my own case!
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ATVILLAS
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Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 2285
Loc: Lost in the post D maze!!
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You poor guy jbar, you had to go through all that anxiety and then become impotent!
Damn, I am just a regular guy that doesn't think sex is the most important thing in life. I still enjoy it now and again and I can still perform just fine when the need arises, I just don't go around looking for it.
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Help someone smile today!!!
Welcome to paradise!!!
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picasso
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Reged: 09/16/07
Posts: 1839
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In thinking back on things, I can DEFINATELY say that there MUST be some kind of connection in order for me to be able to have sex with a woman.
Hell, I can remember the wife being angry about something, and I could just SENSE it...and I would have to stop because it just didnt feel right to do that with her when there was no emotional connection going on between us during the act.
yeah, I know, its not cool for guys to admit that kind of thing, but what the hell....I'm just being honest.
I can TRUTHFULLY say that I have been in the middle of it, and stopped because it didn't feel right (no puns, pls). I didnt just pork my wife, I wanted to make love with her each and every time....and if that "connection" wasn't there, then I could not continue.
Come to think of it, that happened more and more often towards the end....guess I should have seen it coming.
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NO FATE
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stoltz
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Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1478
Loc: Texas
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So, you wonder if the race of b*tchy women is increasing..hmm...maybe.
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Let me try to convey my thinking clearly as I know what I want to say, but not sure if it will get conveyed properly ...
Women today are much different from woman say just 10-20 years ago. Call it "womens liberation", call it "womens empowerment", call it whatever you like. Increasingly, women are taking a more "masculine" role in our society (i.e., working more, entrenching themselves in traditional male roles - even becoming "stronger" in the assertive sense), while at the same time men are losing a lot of the things that have defined them as men in the past, and the two may be just coincidental or, as I believe, proportionally linked.
What I think is happening is that men are psychologically losing themselves today as their traditional roles in a family (and even society) are being threatened with extinction. I fear us men are slowly becoming less beneficial as women become more entrenched in traditional male roles, along with legislation/laws/judgements that further erode our traditional place in society. As I mentioned before, men - especially as we age - become more psychologically attached to sex, so I think the two are butting heads, therefore, the decline in sexual drive.
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Also, what exactly is "middle-aged" in a society that is living 1,2,3 decades longer than in history?
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I would define middle-aged to be roughly 35-55 years of age. Even the article mentioned 30-50 which is slightly skewed lower, IMHO.
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Besides, this is one study, Im sure there are plenty on females and their decreasing drives. I hear it all the time. Its the relationship that affects everything.
Goes both ways.
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I think it goes without saying that if a man is not having sex with his partner, he's either getting it on the side, or not getting it from anyone else period, so I would agree just in that vein of thinking.
One important thing to take away from this is that it breaks from traditional thinking that men in general are sex hounds (maybe in the 15-25 yr old range).
More importantly, there is a study that definitively shows that there is a sharp decrease in sexual drive on men as they age due most likely from psychological affects. Further, the affects are such that they no longer have the urge to "get it on" with their partner.
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stoltz
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Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1478
Loc: Texas
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I wonder how many of these men, who are no longer interested in sex, have been arbitrarily threatened by their wives with divorce and the loss of everything they have, if they failed to accede to their most outrageous demands.
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I certainly believe this is the case many times. I've been witness to as well have heard from many men that a lot of marriages go into predictable stages, whereby things are great at first then slowly decline. The wife then takes on a more assertive role in the marriage further pushing the masculinity of the husband further to the backburner, which causes a psychological wall to be erected. Other things, such as children and the wife only wanting sex when and where SHE dictates (which over time becomes less frequent) further adds to the husband building his "wall".
True, there ARE men who like women in FULL control, but I can bet it is a VERY small percentage.
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Starion
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Reged: 03/04/08
Posts: 124
Loc: South Florida
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Maybe there just become too many strings and other things connected to it and they decide it just isn't worth the work/effort with the high potential downside. IMO many women use it as a weapon/tool/bribe/penalty and maybe the men are just tired of being manipulated that way.
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stoltz
Platinum
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 1478
Loc: Texas
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Maybe there just become too many strings and other things connected to it and they decide it just isn't worth the work/effort with the high potential downside. IMO many women use it as a weapon/tool/bribe/penalty and maybe the men are just tired of being manipulated that way.
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Exactly. I'm sure it's not an "overnight" thing, but something gradual over time that occurs until one day sexual pleasure with the partner becomes anything but pleasurable. (Again, women can probably relate more to this emotionally.) It's like you said, they weigh the upside (sexual gratification) with all the downsides (e.g., possible rejection yet again, manipulation, no actual pleasure aside from "emptying the tank") and figure its just not worth it. They figure why bother when they can get a lot more pleasure from a Victoria Secret catalog.
Psychologically speaking, men want to make love to a woman - not an ugly soul wrapped in a female body.
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