I claimed 90% custody of my daughter who is 14 when I had our divorce papers prepared...my stbx is saying that if he doesn't have at least 50% then he can't draw any bah. He is pissed because he says then he can't live off base. What do I stand to gain by giving him more custody? He is in Korea so I guess it really doesn't matter what is on paper.
why are you worried if he gets BAH or not. I think that would be his problem to work out regardless of how much custody you want. If he is pissed so what. If he can't live off base that is his problem. If he lives off base it only means his yobo (sounds like hobo, korean for girlfriend) gets to live with him. If he has to live on base it restricts some of his liberties. Oh well. I don't think you will be giving up much in custody at this point because he is in Korea. Ask your daughter what she would like to do. Does she want to spend time with her father? Have you figured out what type of custody plan you will have when he gets back from Korea? Will he get the kids on a regular basis (every other week) or will you live far enough apart that they only visit during the summer and holidays? I'm all for both parents having visitation but I have found that one parent is sometimes not worthy of any visitation or at least limited visitation.
JAG gave me 95% custody. I have no problem with him seeing my daughter as much as he wants but by the time he comes from Korea she will be almost 17 years old. I think she will be able to make her own decisions. I would love for him to give a crap about the kids but all he cares about is himself. The other kids are 19 and 21 so I'm leaving his communication with them between them and not me. Yeah I know he has a girlfriend. He won't admit it but I know he does that is why he is pushing so hard for the divorce. The civilian lawyer says that she could make him pay for my health insurance and alimony along with child support and that they could get me 45% of his retirement. What do you think?
Done4, It sounds like you have a good attorney on your side and that the JAG is willing to give good advice. The numbers look good. I would not hesitate to ask for spousal support and medical coverage for yourself. Your daughter should still be covered by her father because he is still responsible for providing support. Keep an eye on it but she should stay in the DEERS system as his dependent and she should continue to recieve medical coverage through Tricare. Stay strong and good luck.
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