I know by the nature of my post that it implies sexism in the courts...but from personal experience 30 years ago that was the case! For the past 3.5 years...I have been the primary caregiver of children 14 months, 5 years and 8 years. Before then...it was about equal.
I DO NOT want to keep the kids from their mother. That being said, I feel disenfranchised because I am the father...and I am a military spouse. I make much less than my Wife...but her career comes first so my career, my education...has always come first. Heck, she just applied to IPAP (Inter-Service Physician Assistant Program)...which will essentially take her away from the family for 2 years.
How will the court look at this? My children...like any other military spouse...are my life. I'm 1000 miles from our home of Record, and if she boots me out I'll have to struggle to follow her around the country...maybe overseas...with no more than some college and no real concrete job skill sets.
I love my Wife...but since her "Dear John" phone call...I just want my kids. I would do everything in my power to follow her...but feel like now that our "family plan" is coming together, she is looking to better start over.
BTW...our family plan was for her to get into a good school to become a medical officer...and then it would be my turn. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
mykidsfirst, I am assuming a couple of things. That your wife is either deployed or TDY and away from you and the kids right now. That you are liviing on or near a military installation. And that nobody has file for divorce yet.
My suggestion to you if you want to keep the kids with you is to go to the nearest JAG office to some free (not always the best) advice on what your rights are and to see if they have a list of local attorneys to use. I would then suggest you find an attorney as soon as possible and file for divorce before she does. If she is making more than you right now and has the possibility of being away because of her service commitments you should be able to show that you have a better handle on raising the children. Yuo probably won't have to follow her around the country if you get a good attorney to represent you. You may even have the opportunity to go back to your home of record and possibly have the kids during the school year and she would get them during the summer break. You have several options but I don't think you will be required to follow her. Good Luck
She is at WLC at Benning...only been gone a month.I consulted an attorney...and he told me that it did not matter who filed first...in fact, it was better for her to file first...then we could file a counter claim.
I have heard that in most cases it does not matter who files first. In my case my attorney wanted to file first in an effort to get an upper hand on my situation and control the tempo. So far in my case I have to say it has worked for both custody and property. I would think that most of your issues will eventually be brought up in court if it can't be mediated civilly. Thats the time when you need to be firm in your requests and have the backing to go with it. I also don't think it will matter that she makes more and you have been more of a stay at home dad. You should still get a say in the custody and any financial support.
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