aprilshowers70
New
Reged: 01/02/07
Posts: 3
Loc: Philadelphia, PA
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Hi everyone - I'm just getting started in my divorce process, and I have been separated since August of '07. I have been involved with this really great guy since October of '06.
Okay, here's my story in a nutshell: my boyfriend has a criminal record (okay I know that sounds BAD, but please read on) - for something he did NOT do. (It really is true). It involved a 16 year old student of his accusing him of improperly touching her - the charges were dropped except for a 4th degree charge (corrupting the morals of a minor), b/c she pulled up her shirt and he went over and yanked it back down. No jail time, no Megan's Law. He told me all about this two weeks after we started dating b/c he didn't want to keep anything from me. I decided to continue on with him b/c he is a really good guy. And this was a real damaging ordeal for him.
Here's my concern: my soon-to-be-ex husband somehow found out about this and is now referring to my boyfriend as a "pedophile." (My ex is mean, controlling, vicious, and trying to destroy my life). We have a 9 year old daughter.
I told my ex that my b/f is NOT a pedophile, that he should get the facts straight before he calls people names like that.
My b/f is wonderful - he treats me with the utmost respect, and he and my daughter get along very well. She respects him. I'm not afraid for my daughter; I know he would not hurt my daughter. If I thought he would, I would not continue to see him. I really do love this man.
Can my ex "forbid" me to see my b/f through the court or something? B/c of my b/f's "record"? My b/f is afraid that my ex will make allegations against him that he touched my daughter inappropriately or something, and that will destroy my b/f's life. I assured him that my ex can't do that b/c my ex is never even AROUND my apartment, and my b/f and Amanda have NEVER been alone together (just b/c of circumstances, no reason in particular). And my daughter would NEVER lie or make false accusations against my b/f or anyone else. As I said, she really likes my b/f very much.
Can my ex cause trouble for my b/f?? We are on shaky ground right now b/c of this - can anyone put my mind at ease? I'd like to know if my ex has a leg to stand on regarding who I choose to date or not to date. And since there's NO MEGAN'S LAW, we should be okay legally, right?
Please please please help me - the greatest relationship of my life is hanging in the balance......thanks so much.
P.S. I'm in PA
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2248
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Okay, here's my story in a nutshell: my boyfriend has a criminal record (okay I know that sounds BAD, but please read on) - for something he did NOT do. (It really is true). It involved a 16 year old student of his accusing him of improperly touching her - the charges were dropped except for a 4th degree charge (corrupting the morals of a minor), b/c she pulled up her shirt and he went over and yanked it back down. No jail time, no Megan's Law.
>>>>>>>>>>>> The charges were not dropped , he pled guilty to a lessor offense .
Can my ex "forbid" me to see my b/f through the court or something? B/c of my b/f's "record"?
>>>>>>>>>> He can try . He can also request that there be no non-spouse overnight visitors when the child is with either parent which would , most likely , be granted due to the charges involved .
Can my ex cause trouble for my b/f?? We are on shaky ground right now b/c of this - can anyone put my mind at ease? I'd like to know if my ex has a leg to stand on regarding who I choose to date or not to date. And since there's NO MEGAN'S LAW, we should be okay legally, right?
>>>>>>>>>> Very shaky ground , especially if custody hasn't been decided yet .
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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aprilshowers70
New
Reged: 01/02/07
Posts: 3
Loc: Philadelphia, PA
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Thank you, AnswerGuy, for your response. It does not make me feel better, but it is honest, and I thank you for that. I appreciate it.
If he requests the "non-spousal" overnight visit thing, I can live with it, I guess. But I still would like to know if he can stop me from seeing my boyfriend. Right now we have 50/50 custody of our daughter (my ex and I). This is a verbal agreement till we can make it legal. My boyfriend is NOT a pedophile or a sex offender; he was falsely accused of something and it had a huge impact on him. I wouldn't put anyone around my daughter if I felt it was unsafe.
Please help me if you can......thank you.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2248
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No , no one can stop you from seeing whoever you want . The courts can make decisions on custodial arrangements based on the people you choose to associate with . What happens if your STBX decides to seek majority custody of the child because of your relationship ? Is your boyfriend willing to appear as a witness at trial and answer questions under oath about his past ?
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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displaced
New
Reged: 11/10/07
Posts: 14
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consider your bf to see a psychologist and get an mmpi test. interviewing your bf and test results the psychologist can determine if your bf is any threat to the children. this test is the standard for psychological testing in divorces, especially for custody issues. best fo luck, this could get messy and i speak from experience.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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Your boyfriend pleaded guilty to a sexual offense against a minor. Regardless of how innocent he actually is, the record says otherwise. Also the fact that you hooked up with him 10 months before separating from your husband probably doesn't work in your favor here.
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chrisrayal
New
Reged: 05/22/08
Posts: 2
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If I've read and understood PA law correctly, your soon-to-be-ex cannot stop you from a divorce. He can only prolong it. As far as stopping you from your new b/f, he cannot. But your new beau may have to get a restraining order if your ex causes that much trouble. The courts will take care of the rest and, frankly, your ex is not on solid ground when it comes down to it due to his conviction. But see a lawyer and get all the legal info you can regarding his rights. Good luck!
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