krispy
New
Reged: 06/01/06
Posts: 1
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Hello! I'm brand new here. My wife moved out back in November. A few days later, I filed for divorce. She's been renting an apartment since then. I'm living in our house and we are sharing custody 50/50. What is getting to me is that I come home to find that she's been here, rummaging through things, taking whatever she wants (tax papers, personal items, etc) whenever she feels like it. Can I change the locks to keep her out, or will I be "adandoning" her if I lock her out? She is still on the mortgage/title papers and is half owner. I don't want to mess up before court. But if I can't let myself into her place, why can she let herself into mine? It is frustrating! Any thoughts? I'm in Minnesota. Thanks!
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adrenaline
Platinum
Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 3892
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In my state if she has residence elsewhere she is considered abandoned. You can change the locks. You could probably call the cops if you find her in there. If the divorce isn't final you probably can't sell the house or the contents but you certainly can have the locks changed.
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The problem isn't the game; it is that nobody knows the rules.
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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Change the locks. I don't think you'd be violating any law. Even if that advice turns out to be wrong, forgiveness is easier to get than permission.
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adrenaline
Platinum
Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 3892
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Even though her name is on the title doesn't mean she can come and go as she pleases. It is like a landlord if you are renting a place just because your landlord owns the place he/she can't come and go as pleased. You can go as far as you need 24 hours notice for her to come over and she still doesn't have the right to pass the threshold without permission. Take your stand.
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The problem isn't the game; it is that nobody knows the rules.
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justice
Silver
Reged: 05/26/06
Posts: 54
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Change the locks honey!She has her own place and just because her name is on the paper doesn't mean a thing. By changing the locks, it shows her that you are no longer under her finger and you are taking control over your life!
By the way I am a woman and I feel if she's got her own place without giving you unrestricted access, then she should understand your position.If she needs something from you then she has to ASK like everyone else.What's good for the goose is good for the gander!
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doc
Platinum
Reged: 04/26/06
Posts: 584
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You have every right to change the locks and should do so before the day is over. Deadbolts. Hide your keys.
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Cari115
Platinum
Reged: 06/11/07
Posts: 1788
Loc: Not where I thought I'd be
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Change the locks. I did it the day after my stbx moved out. He gave me the keys, but I didn't trust that he didn't have more copies. He actually came by the following day to pick up some stuff and said "You changed the locks already?" Like he was expecting me to anyway but not so soon.
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She's figured out all her doubts were someone else's point of view - Green Day
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LovingFather
Bronze
Reged: 04/08/08
Posts: 27
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"Change the locks" is very bad advice...especially in a community property state. My XW pulled that game. I showed up with a locksmith and a copy of the title with my name on it. She threatened to call the police. She did...and they told her I had every right to enter the house in any way I chose...it's a joint asset that she cannot prevent me from entering.
After that little gambit of her's backfired, we settled quickly.
Joint assets are owned by both. Abandonment happens legally only after a significant amount of time. You're playing with fire if you try to deny access to a co-owner...it will likely bite you in court in front of the judge, just like destruction of marital property would.
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EZmark
Platinum
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 292
Loc: Florida
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AnswerGuy is right, you can change the locks but there's nothing LEGAL preventing them from breaking in.
You should motion for temporary releif and ask for temporary exclusive posession of the house, you'll get it in a ten minute hearing with a one page motion. If they kick the door in or break a window before the hearing, usually in ten days or less if you ask for emergency hearing, call the police who won't do anything but document it. Use that to show violent behavior as to why you need temporary releif and verbally add on RO request in hearing. Women use this tactic every day even goading you to break in and then feeling threatened.
If you're locked out you have every right to get in, but you're a lot better off in the long run not to. If you need to recover something from the house ask the cops to meet you there when you're ten minutes away. If the party inside won't cooperate you get the locksmith and the cops and the title and get let in nicely . You will appear reasonable. The locking party will claim they feared for their safety and assets would be stolen and be forgiven. It's a small insignificant blip in the 2% chance it ever gets to a judge.
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