I feel so trapped these days i'm going to explode! My husband pays his ex-wife more money than we get. In these very hard economical times, it's a big noose around my neck. My Stepkids are unbelievably spoiled with their private school education and plentiful lifestyle. The 14 year old daughter is not even nice. Very conceited about her appearance and no appreciation for what she has. No concept of the phrase 'less fortunate.'
Giving her mother so much and getting so little in return from the stepkids makes me feel unbelievably trapped. There's no attempt on the part of the kids to interact and even try to be a part of the family. What happens when you want out but you're stuck because of financial issues? Do you just rot away? I'm in hell right now. I really miss my single days.
Did you know your husband had kids from a prior marriage before you married him? If so, you took on the risk of those children with full disclosure. Did you get to know the kids before you married? If not, you should have. Some day, they could be living with you full time! It happens. It happened to me.
When you marry someone with kids, you're marrying a package. Not just the person. Many people don't take that into account if the person they're marrying is the NCP who doesn't have the kids all the time. But, life happens and things change!
You need to decide if you love this man enough to work out the issues you have with his kids. If you sit in silence, you'll feel trapped. If you bring up the issues with your husband, and he turns a deaf ear, then I guess you'll know where he stands, and where you fit into the situation. It's not easy. I wouldn't throw away the marriage because a step child is spoiled. Kids from any family can be spoiled. You're angry because this isn't "your" child, and they're spoiled and you feel like you have no control over it. Parenting is giving and giving and giving until it hurts. We don't get back from kids many times until the kids have children of their own and understand how difficult it is being a parent.
His kids are his kids, and he needs to help support them whether or not they are spoiled. You can be a good influence on them by gently steering them in directions that might be healthier for them. But, it will take a lot of effort and patience on your part. And, you will not be appreciated for it for many years.
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
