I am in the midst of a divorce I didn't anticipate. My husband of 7 years left me for his extramarital affair a few months ago. We have two toddlers. He has never been a hands on dad, but wants them so he doesn't have to pay me more child support (3 nights vs 2 nights). We are going to mediation in the next few weeks over parents first right of refusal, maintenance etc because on the 3 days stbx has them he leaves them with his parents to be with his gf. He has done this at least one night of his three nights with the kids. Before our split, he refused to let his parents watch them more than one night a month so as not to burden them. I have repeatedly asked him to let me have them first but he refuses. I work part time and am home most of the time and would rather have them with me. He has done this when they are sick as well, which drives me crazy-they should be with a parent when they are sick! Does Colorado acknowledge parents first rights of refusal? What are the consequences if not followed? His mother already lied to me twice about where the kids were, so they wont tell me the truth about who has the kids and when. Any advice on the subject? Also what is fair to ask for as far as pensions? What is the best way to divide them? Mine is small, his is large. I have only been part time for 1 year, worked full time the rest of the marriage. Also, I want life insurance to be carried for both of us, what is a reasonable amount to ask/carry? Thanks
Does Colorado acknowledge parents first rights of refusal?
>>>>> All states do , usually it's agreed between the parties or , occasionally , advised as necessary by a 3rd party ( GAL , custody evaluation ,etc ) .
What are the consequences if not followed?
>>>>>>>>>> Civil contempt at first . Criminal contempt is possible eventually after multiple violations .
Any advice on the subject?
>>>>>>>> Yup , you and he don't trust each other right now and it's easy to see why , trust is in short supply during divorce . You look at his actions only as a way to reduce CS , he looks at yours as means to get the kids and more money . It's not easy , but try to convince him that you don't have ulterior motives and truly want what's best for the kids . He may grow up a little bit and suprise you .
Also what is fair to ask for as far as pensions?
>>>>>>>>> Fair is usually 50% of whatever accumulated during the marriage . You give up half yours , he loses half his . Most people will automatically say no due to the disparity but fair is fair and marriage is a partnership .
Also, I want life insurance to be carried for both of us, what is a reasonable amount to ask/carry?
>>>>>>>> Confused , will you be providing your own insurance or are you expecting him to pay ?
-------------------- Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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