I would like to see about getting some input about what is going on with me. There are a couple things I'm unlcear about.
1. Where to file: We were married 7 years ago in upstate New York. We have lived in Iowa since 2001. Do I have to file in New York, or here in Iowa?
2. Assets: We currently have 2 mortages that are in both of our names. The first one is our home place, the second is where we are living while going to school. How might things go with dealing with that?
3. Fine points: I want things to be fair and just on both sides. I grew up with divorced parents where my father could've gone to jail for almost 20 years. But my mother wasn't the vindictive type. I would like things to be civil with us.
4. Kid/finances: We have a 3 year old daughter. She is a full time student in college with no job (no time). I am a stay at home dad and recieving disability for MS. That money, becides her student loans, is our only income. I am willing and capable of taking custody or her, but don't know if she will contest. If she wants custody, I'm not sure how she will be able to handle it and what if/should I do to help.
If anybody could give some insight, I'd like to know. I want to get things in order on my side so that it can be as painless as posible for all three sides.
Just so you know, I am not a lawyer. I just did the divorce thing in Iowa and I think I can help answer your questions.
1. You file in Iowa at your local court house. You only need to be a resident for a year, I believe.
2. If there is any way to agree on your assets on your own, do it. Lawyers cost a ton to do it for you. As long as it is fair, and you both agree, the judge will usually accept it.
3. Fairness is good. If you can agree I am not sure how it will work for you since your stbx is unemployed and a student. seems like that kicks in some special circumstances.
4. You might have a chance at custody if your stbx is unemployed. I am not sure how it works though. my ex and I do about a 60/40 split of time and that is reflected in what i pay her in support. there are online calculators for figuring support based on time. Google it. If you cant find it let me know and I'll post it here.
Note: this is probably all wrong. Hope it helps though!
The only thing I am questioning is your custody of your 3 year old. If you have MS and are home on disability How do you think you can take care of a 3 year old? I wouldn't think this possible. Plus if things would get worse for you in the future I would think you would want your wife to have custody at least your child would receive social security, that I would think would be in the best interest of the child.
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