okay here's the deal. My and my kind of ex fiancee(spelling) dated about 3 years. we had a great little baby girl about a year ago. the thing was she was still in college when she had our little girl. so I REALLY wanted her to finish college. so I made a deal with her if she'd live at my parents house for a little while i'd pay for everything(this was June of 2005) when she agreed to it. so basically I watched our daughter, put food on the table, did everything, while she was at college. I told her that if she finished college and got a good job we could move out( we couldn't do it on a single income) so She said "okay." so I paid for books,lunches at school, gas(which was 60 miles one way to school) and other misc project expenses. She never did any house keeping(any laundry,any dishes, any mopping, any cooking(she cooked maybe 4 times in 11 monthes)anything that involved labor) all she'd want to do is #1. Watch TV #2. Watch our daughter. Don't get me wrong I like to play with our daughter but when dishes need done I'd sit her in her high chair and let her watch me while i'd do them. well the final thing that finished me off was. I worked a 12 hour the night before(I work 2nd shift) and I got up at 8 o clock because chores had to be done after getting off at about 2 am(and going to bed at 3 am) I told her "Look can you do 2 loads of dishes, I don't care when it gets done as long as it's done when I get home.I got home at noon. not a single dish was touched. I was very upset. I went off. She hadn't moved off the sofa. keep in mind in the course of 11 months between food,fuel, clothing and other misc expenses I've probably sank about 20 grand in a year into her. all I expected her to do was help a little around the house. She said "Fine I'll move in with my mother." well she did that in mid April of 06. We agreed to "shared parenting" where she'll have our daughter one week and one the next week. since then she filed for welfare. today I got a letter in the mail to be summoned to appear court on 6/21/06 I don't really have the money to pay a lawyer his fees. What do I do? I'm just really confused and hurt. She wants me back but yet I called her cell phone probably 10 times today she refuses to answer her phone. my question is what do I do next?
I'm sorry to say it, but your girlfried needs to mature and learn how to handle things on her own before she can have a relationship with anyone. I expect that she wants you back because she realizes how good she had it when she was living with you. You were footing the bill for everything. She had to do nothing. Don't let her use you. I would not go back with her..not yet at least. She needs a few years of a dose of reality that she can only learn by struggling on her own. She needs to learn to grow up and realize that being a good mother and partner takes some effort and sacrificing. You did everything you could to be a good provider. I would not worry about the court appearance. If you have nothing to hide, you could even represent yourself. Just make sure you have documentation for everything. Make a list of everything you did, show receipts, itemize everything, including your thoughts.. to prove to the court that you did the best you could. It sounds like you have a good case to fight for custody for your baby too. Good luck!
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