4 days after our 8th anniversary my wife tells me she is leaving, no preamble, no big problems. Just leaving, she had been texting alot and a little distant. I confronted her about this and she then says she is leaving. We had certainly had our issues but i had no idea this was happening. She left our 7 year olddaughter with me which I am very glad of, but i don't really know how to deal with this. I have spoken to her but she is sure this is hat she wants and I am going to oblige her. I am new to this and just wanted to talk to someone.
I know it's hard to grasp and understand what is happening and why. You have your daughter to take care of. I would suggest get some counseling. It has helped me tremendously. Rely on family and friends to help you. My ex and I decided to work on our problems, then out of the blue he said he wanted a divorce. He left me struggling. But be strong and reach out to those that can help you.
Something like 60-80% of women that leave their husbands, usually try to hook back up with them later (6 months, a year, etc.)
Doesn't sound like too many of them are really all that sure, does it? Tell your wife this and convince her to go to marriage counseling with you. If she doesn't agree to that, ask all of her relatives to speak with her on your behalf. Have them find out what her real motives are. They don't have to tell you what they are, just talk to her about them.
If that doesn't work, read up on how to cut brake lines without it looking like they've been cut. Contact me for details if necessary...
P.S. This post never happened. You know what I mean... :)
-------------------- I didn't get married to pay CS later in life.
Mason -- the surprising part for me is that she left you AND her child. Sounds like she's going through an identity crisis. A lot of women hit that crisis time in their early to mid-30s. It's the same crisis men have in their late 40s to mid-50s. That feeling of Is THIS all there is. It's also a time when women seem to want to throw off all the bonds that they feel shackled to, the preprograming that comes with reaching that age for women -- that being a wife and mom should always be fulfilling, that the new woman can DO IT ALL. I can remember at that age one day looking at my hands shriveling in the dishwater and thinking that I simply COULD not stand to rinse and dry one more dirty glass -- EVER!
I agree that she should seek counseling, and you should as well. You might be able to weather this storm, but it's more doubtful without help.
Good luck to you and your family.
-------------------- "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance"
- Oscar Wilde