Divorce Support Forums: Replying to divorce papers???

Ok - My STBX has a lawyer, I don't and can't afford one. I'm going to TRY and handle it all myself. First step - my STBX informed me that I'll be receiving papers from her lawyer soon. There are several KEY items that we do not seem to be able to agree on. I have made what I thought was a very generous compromise but she rejected it and seems hell bent on getting EXACTLY what she wants. Here are the key issues:

1. Child custody - she want's sole, I wan't joint w/her as the primary residence. (I'm a recovering addict - that's her grounds for sole custody - I've never done anything other than neglect them, and that has only been the last six months before the split while I was deep in my addiction)

2. Visitation - she want state supervised ONLY for one-year, I want it suppervised by my sister (which is also her weekday 8AM - 5PM caregiver) until she is four (she is a little over two now)

My STBX claims that the only reason that she is asking for sole custody is because that's the only way that the state will mandate state supervised visits and that's what's really important to her. She will not give me any reason for not allowing my sister to do it other than to say that she does not want to involve her???

Otherwise we are in agreement. There are some items I could contest if I wanted to be an a** but that's really not my goal.

I don't think she consulted her lawyer about the offer I made - should I make the offer directly to her lawyer? If so, how??? Do I just write a formal letter, re: the title on her papers, with the details? Does she have to respond to it? How do I just simply express the items that I do not agree with? Again, does a simple letter suffice? Any help is greatly appreciated!