Divorce Support Forums: How do you know when it is over?

I've been married 25+ years put the last 10 have been hard.
I'm married but feel alone. We are a couple that got married at 21 and have 4 kids with one left at home with just a couple years to go for the last one.

When we get in arguments she says just wait for the last kid to leave before doing anything.

I feel like why wait. All I see ahead is more wasted years and letting her get me more in dept. She current has spent about 30k on credit cards over the last three years. When I try to talk to her about it she says it isn't all her and she says I always blame her for spending too much. A few years ago I quite a very good paying job and could afford to just keep paying off her dept. Now I can't. She blames me for leaving the job. She actually makes more than I do now but less than what we use to do.
Any how so spending is one thing.

The other thing is her lieing to me about smoking.
When we first met I told her I didn't date women who smoked. She quite on the spot and I never saw anything for probably 15 years. Now when ever she is away from home, trip to family or friends, she comes back with smoke on her breath. When confronted she says she won't do it but then it happens again. Most smokers say what is the big deal but to someone who doesn't want in his life and tried to make sure of that 25+ years ago it kind of hurts.

Recently when I asked about it she said she doesn't lie she just doesn't want to be nagged about it. She said she use to think I was worth it (not smoking) but why should I get to say what she can do or not. I feel betrayed. Hey there are things I don't do to make the relationship work.

Anyhow I'm just feeling like why keep arguing about the same old things when she is just going to do what ever anyhow.

I forgot to mention that almost every weekend she is either working or gone to visit family a few hundred miles away. I take this as she doesn't want to be around me. She says I nag her about spending too much or the smoking and not taking care of herself.

Other people tell me I'm a really nice guy but she just seems to see concern about our finances as nagging. I guess I keep bringing it up because nothing changes.

Sorry for going on and on. I'm thinking that maybe it is time to find someone who thinks the same way I do about money and health rather thinking she might decide to change. Is 25 years enough time to wait and see?

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