Hi
You are experiencing the cycle of abuse. I'll bump up a earlier post that explains it.
Without him addressing the situation and getting help more than likely it will continue. It may be a year in between episodes or even longer but most likely the abuse cycle will not stop and probably the episodes will get closer and closer together. If he's discussing shelters than he knows that there's a problem, he's just not willing to do anything about it because it's not a problem for HIM.
You need to do what's right for YOU. If that means counseling then go.
As far as other police officers and their families...although it doesn't really matter, there are abusive situations in many classes of society. I remember a situation in court where the offender was a highly respected doctor who almost blew his kids head off while wrestling with a gun. The 16 year old was trying to stop his father from shooting his mother. He succeeded in stopping him but received injury in the process. Anyway my point is that whats relevant is how you want to handle the situation, what you are willing to live with and have your child live with.