Wonderful way of putting things. Everything you said is absolutely true.

"That "victim" lable does not work for me. It does not apply to me. I reject it, flat out. Anyone who dares to call ME a victim will find out for certain that this is not true. I made an adult decision to marry him. It was an unwise decision, but I was an adult when I married him. And I stayed with him for as long as I felt it was right to do so. I was an adult, not some victim being tossed about with verbal abuse. I am strong enough to have my ego intact, no matter what the verbal abuse was that he heaped upon me. No matter how controlling, I am still ME. Not a victim. "

I am at this stage. I made a stupid decision. I have been with this man for 10 years and I knew in my heart he was the wrong person for me. But as women we stay because we feel we can fix it..fix him..fix everything. We must realize we cannot fix everything..and we must have better faith in ourself to understand that we are never victims. I cannot stand the word abuse..either. It bothers me and I don't associate myself with it. The person I was with is sick. I am still working through this understanding and seeing the pattern so that when I decide to go "shopping" again I'll be picker about the brand I choose. And if the brand does not suit me, gets too small, or fades ..I'll have the knowledge and the strength to dispose of it and keep shopping. Hang in there. Yes we are all going through this. I am no different.