kimbo, It is NOT you...please realize that this IS abuse and if he is a fiance, consider yourself lucky not to have married this man. Do not do it. Read around here for a while and see what those marriages are like 10, 15, 20 years down the road. Miserable, broken spouses who are afraid of their own shadow and doubt themselves on everything.

I was one of those women a year ago. After 17 years, I believed all he told me. It took 6 months of intense counseling and lots of affirmation by friends and family for me to say "No More" for me and my kids.

Please read your own words over and over and over and over until you realize that this is not right. I can't emphasize enough the need to get IRL help, a pastor, counselor, SOMEONE to help you see clearly. Confide in someone you trust. I promise they will love you and get you the help you need.