It's not what he thinks, but what the law says. You need to educate yourself on the law in your state re equitable distribution. Don't be bullied by this man. Let the issue of custody go for the moment. Focus on getting a fair deal from this point on. Don't make any deals with him outside the court. You'll do better with a judge's decision on distribution of marital assets than you will if you just fold to his demands. He won't get spousal support, additional child support needs a material change of circumstances and has a time frame for returning to court, and you can ask for half of his 401. For the court it is nothing but the numbers. You speak well so if you gather your wits, educate yourself on your state's marital assets law, you can go to court and represent yourself.