Don't worry about grounds for divorce. They don't change anything - it is a divorce whether you call it emotional abuse or just irreconciable differences.

You sound like you hit your bottom in the relationship. That is the grounds for the divorce if you don't feel that counseling will help.

when you self preservation kicks in, it is a good sign that you are in a situation that needs to change.

Good luck and welcome here! The entrance fee stinks, but the support is real.