Confuseddad you sound like you have lived my life. I can only tell you I stayed because I loved that part of my husband he was before he had the head injury and developed full blown PTSD but I didn't accept that he was really gone already and that he was slowly turning me into someone I hated and in the process he was damaging our daughters emotional stability too. I ended up waiting till he left me and it took 13 years of daily fights and pain. Now that he is gone he is still trying to control my life by with holding money we need to live but at least now that my head is clearer I know I would never go back and I will never let anyone demean me or my daughter again. At least go to a lawyer and lay it all out and ask their opinion on your chances for custody. Start keeping a journal of every incident to support your side. Talk to professionals like marriage counsellors, Drs, and even friends to see if they see things the way you do. Then you will know what you must do for your own sanity and your sons. I know the hardest part for me will be letting our daughter go see him as required because since he has never physically abused us I have no choice, and as hard as it is she deserves to try to have a relationship with her father. Good luck.