Please listen to your inner voice. I know that it is confusing right now, but it's that small voice you need to listen to because it is ALWAYS right. I can tell from what you wrote that you know what you NEED to do. What you are describing here is emotional abuse that if not stopped, will become physical or worse. I was in the same situation you are in for 14 years and believe me, I have told myself so many lies: if only I had not done this, that or the other, he would not have done this, that, or the other...etc. Bottom line: there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING that you could do, could have done, should have done, to MAKE HIM STOP. It is HIS problem, and the kind of help he needs, if he is willing to take it, will take years for him to change into a secure, happy person. You must free yourself now before you end up this person's wife! IT WILL NOT JUST GET BETTER! I don't know where you are, but please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, tell them what you wrote here, and hear what they have to say. Save yourself and run like the wind before it is too late!