I'm still in the planning stage, but want to be out within two months at most. But I'm really freaked out about telling him I'm leaving. He fired our last marriage counselor (who was an ally of his anyway, he liked to say "let's not use the words "physical abuse" because it set my husband off so bad). He was not a big help.

The physical abuse really only happened twice. But that was enough. The emotional/verbal has been going on for years. We have a deeply pathological thing going on here. The more I break free, the angrier he's getting. How am I going to tell him it's over? Right now I'm basically "making nice" but not letting him walk all over me anymore and he's not too happy.

I am definately scared of what will happen. Should I pack up and call him? Last week he said something really weird about what would happen to the dogs if I left, how he might have to ship them off to California to his sister's. These are 10 yr. old dogs. And he said the cat would be put to sleep. I can't stay to save the pets, but I can see what he's trying to do here.

Even though it's a ways off, I've already begun losing sleep over this (he sleeps on the couch -- he's "punishing" me. Okay by me.)

Help! What did y'all do?