Tainted?,

No it doesn't sound weird. It sounds like someone who has been in an abusive relationship and involve with an alcholic. I can relate to your situation-though not to the same degree on everything. It is hard and one that I'm still struggling with. It seems that when you finally decide that you had enough and can't take anymore they want it. Like a toddler who discover the forgotten toy in the bottom of the toy chest is being thrown away, suddently that toy is their "Most Favorite".

I would suggest (and I need to take my own advice) that if he won't leave you and the kids do. Also you may want to look not only in domestic abuse shelters but also Al-anon meetings. Talk to a lawyer about your options.

He is not going to make changes until he wants too. And when you start making changes that stops enabling his behavior he will just get more angry/frustrated. But you need to take care of yourself and your kids. Good Luck and you are not alone.