I want to be even harder on this. The courts will be downright mean to people they believe have refused visitation on the basis of not having enough money from the other person.

There are a lot of ways to describe it, none of which are flattering... selling the kids, using them as little ATMs, being the gatekeeper for the kids' time ... I've heard a lot of ways of describing it, but the concepts have to be totally separate in your head.

let him have vacation, and since April is over, give him extra as make-up time. Offer it before he asks. Don't make him think he has to beg you for time with his own kids. Don't make him think he has to have something special before he gets to spend time with them.

Deal with the child support situation separately. When you finally determine support, the child care arrangements will be addressed, either in the formula or as an extra that's separately billed and you each pay a percentage of. The judges do understnad that if you have a contract for daycare, that it probably covers 5 days a week, and does not allow vacations. This is because most daycare facilities hold your place open for your kid and won't be able to re-book some OTHER paying client just becasue your kid doesn't show up for a day or a week. So when they figure out the final support amount, just have the facts available for the judge to put into the mix.

But NEVER EVER AGAIN let your ex get a situation to talk to the judge about where you dared to not let him take the child because you wanted to use it as an opportunity to get him to agree to your issue involving money.